sneakypie

w00t! i bought old lady makeup! nothing covers and blends like that shit, i swear. i won't even have pores the next time you see me.

guess what? it's time for another get-to-know-me entry! this is the part where we have a story from my sordid past. it's my hope that it will help you all better understand Who I Am As A Person and Where I'm Coming From. [hah! no, not really, i'm just fuckin' with ya.]

... warning: this has a gross rating of x2.5

there are some expressions in the english language that, when i hear them, immediately bring a spasm of dislike to my face. there aren't many of them, but one of them is "just for shits & giggles." gheh. i don't even like typing it.

i admit it's pretty harmless, but i have a deep conviction that shitting and giggling should never, ever, EVER go together. by way of explanation, i'll say right now that when i was 7, i went to summer camp for the first time... and came back with E.coli.

you guys probably know all about it, get it from uncooked beef or tainted meat, etc. i found out that something was wrong when three days after i got home, i laughed at a cartoon on tv and crapped myself. here's an approximation of my face:

try to imagine how much that sucks for a 7 year old. you know you're potty trained like a felon. your whole belief system is crumbling around you because you just crapped in your carebears nightgown.

buuuuut later that night i started vomiting blood and that's when i knew that it wasn't something that i had done wrong, i was just violently violently ill. which was way more exciting! i had never gotten to stay at the hospital before! of course i didn't go for 5 days cuz pediatricians tried to tell my mom it was just a stomach bug, but by then i was white as a sheet, severely dehydrated, and wearing the largest size of pull-ups they make. you know, for fat babies.

overall the experience was hilarious in retrospect and exciting. but i still can't see the humor in "just for shits & giggles."