I need to post more, I need to go out more, I need to study more. I need to stop worring about all my BS.
I have a massive crush on a girl in one of my classes, I have a husband whom I am working on issues with a relativly new therapist, via phone sessions. I have three major class projects, no make that 4. I just quit my job adn my mom is all over me about it, I am also hesitint to tell my friends, every one will think I'm nutz, I just couldn't handel the pressure. It was a high stress job with alot of resoponsibilitiy and I was worried about it whrn I wasn't even on the clock , adn they had me running to the next town over off the clock with no gas reembursment, also working 2 1/2 hours for free each day. Also the study time was all wadded up on sunday. It sucked . So I had my reasons. I have three shifts left. all this week. Wow I forgot how nice it is to have a place to vent compleetly unsensored. I have to watch my self so often to make sure the wrong people don't get offended. I wish i was brave enough to do and say all of the things I am thinking. I know we just had that national coming out thing and I am stil afraid of the consiquences it i let it slip about my feelings about girls. I don't know why, I care about what other people think but I do, I think my family would freak out, It realy doesn't matter any way because I married a man and we are working on our stuff right now. In all fairness we have been working on our stuff for nearly 9 years. So there is that to worry about too. I often wonder if I am maladjusted. Will I ever be able to function in the world, I want desperatly to make enought money to travel or find a job that allows for travel. Yet another thing I am worried about. I have a fear of not living an interestin and rich life. I gotta stop. I think I may be spiraling and even though the ranting can be cathardic I do need to pull it together and get on with my day.
Just stop wallowing and worring!
I have a massive crush on a girl in one of my classes, I have a husband whom I am working on issues with a relativly new therapist, via phone sessions. I have three major class projects, no make that 4. I just quit my job adn my mom is all over me about it, I am also hesitint to tell my friends, every one will think I'm nutz, I just couldn't handel the pressure. It was a high stress job with alot of resoponsibilitiy and I was worried about it whrn I wasn't even on the clock , adn they had me running to the next town over off the clock with no gas reembursment, also working 2 1/2 hours for free each day. Also the study time was all wadded up on sunday. It sucked . So I had my reasons. I have three shifts left. all this week. Wow I forgot how nice it is to have a place to vent compleetly unsensored. I have to watch my self so often to make sure the wrong people don't get offended. I wish i was brave enough to do and say all of the things I am thinking. I know we just had that national coming out thing and I am stil afraid of the consiquences it i let it slip about my feelings about girls. I don't know why, I care about what other people think but I do, I think my family would freak out, It realy doesn't matter any way because I married a man and we are working on our stuff right now. In all fairness we have been working on our stuff for nearly 9 years. So there is that to worry about too. I often wonder if I am maladjusted. Will I ever be able to function in the world, I want desperatly to make enought money to travel or find a job that allows for travel. Yet another thing I am worried about. I have a fear of not living an interestin and rich life. I gotta stop. I think I may be spiraling and even though the ranting can be cathardic I do need to pull it together and get on with my day.
Just stop wallowing and worring!
just12345:
i'm there for u whenever u want to talk. we deff should try to get together this sat and if u want sleep over... have a true girls' night in to talk and such. i think we both need it.