snapdragonpoppy

My uncle LE. shot and killed himself on sunday. It was verry shocking, even tho we al knew he was depressed. and then the fact that that day was my aunt's birthday.... She passed away in January, from sepsis and kidney failure. they never officaly married but were together for 15 years. LE was a realy decent loving and good man.

He had been staying with friends of the family since her passing and We all thought Hewas doing, well not ok but coping, he was seeing a therapist and was on perscription antidepressants. he was even begining to take up his photography again. one of my mom's long time friends was checking in on him regurlarly. We all live in a different state, but my mom's sister spoke with him on the phone not long agoe and he acted like he was making plans to take a vacation.

in Febuary My Grandmother passed away tho she was sick with alzheimers for almoste a decade.

and two years agoe my cousin who was onlt 32 died from breast cancer.

I think my sister said it best . she said "I'm pissed off. and I am tired of funerals. there have been to many of them"

I feel so bad for LE. I think now he is in peace. I know and I am sure many of us do, how easy it is to fall in to despondance, how life can be such a struggle, and it seames impossible to wake up, brush teath, and begin the day. I can not immagine what it is to lose a life partner, he would have given the world for that woman and tragicly he couldnt' go on.

it makes my perspective a little different. at least for now. I just feel spent and tired, and very reflective.