snakefeast

Went to Bar of Soap last night to do laundry, then headed over to Spider Babies where I was supposed to dj with Jeff and I pretty much just let him take it over. I've kind of made excuses not to do it for a while, because basically nobody comes out. It was a little more than dismal from the beginning. No heat, in the dead of winter freezing my ass off and spinning records for like four people. the free beer is always good, but not that good. Left early from there last night, way too fucked up and headed to the house. I'm at work an hour early this morning because I couldn't sleep. With all the other shit that's been happening in my life, I go by my normal stop this morning to get a drink and some tylenol sinus and this guy, Big ass loud mouth yuppie mother fucker, who I can't stand in the first place, is all over the front counter shooting his mouth off looking for goddamn people magazine, fucking meathead reading, and I step around him thinking he's in the line on the right, trying to avoid any contact because i really don't want to say two words to anyone right now, not in any kind of hurry, just not real social and a little bit annoyed by this jerkoff. Well' I excuse myself for stepping around him maybe trying to make a little light of the fact that he is all over the damn place and he shouts back, 'well excuse me!!, I wouldn't want to slow you down or anything! I was just in line in front of you!' I was like, oh, well I realy couldn't tell which line you were in, so he says ' The one you had to step around my ASS to get in!' are we clear now?' I told him to go ahead, I really wasn't in that much of a hurry, but by that time they had already rang my shit up, so I just looked at him a little cockeyed because I couldn't believe what a freakin' asshole this guy was, got my stuff and left. After all the shit I've been going through, it just made me feel like a total fucking puss for not stickin' up for myself and just walking off, but I really didn't feel like dealing with it and it just made me feel even more like shit to be honest, almost made me want to cry, what a fucking puss, but that's how I felt. I guess I'll work now, but I've never felt like that, except of course when my father smacked me and put me in my place, but I'm way over that shit, it just came flooding back though, seemed like. Shit.