A man walk into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and then she turns to the
ostrich, 'What's yours?'
'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order.
'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his...
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The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and then she turns to the
ostrich, 'What's yours?'
'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order.
'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his...
Read More
heartbaker:
LMAO
Oh To Be 12 Again....
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.
'I'd like to be twelve again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her...
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A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.
'I'd like to be twelve again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her...
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Missing wife
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage
man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.
"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife,"
said one trooper...
"Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted.
The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news,
some good news, and...
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scandal_:
Thank you 
A Husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up
a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and so they carry
on shopping.
A few aisles further on along...
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a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and so they carry
on shopping.
A few aisles further on along...
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scandal_:
^^ That is AWESOME. 
Just wanted to stop in to say thanks for commenting on my set, but I got a bonus laugh out of it too.
Just wanted to stop in to say thanks for commenting on my set, but I got a bonus laugh out of it too. A Blonde Misunderstanding
A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners.....
On the way out the door, the lady at the counter says, "Come Again"....
The blonde says "no it's toothpaste this time you nosy bitch."
A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners.....
On the way out the door, the lady at the counter says, "Come Again"....
The blonde says "no it's toothpaste this time you nosy bitch."
Why I fired my Secretary.
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone " Happy Birthday." I thought...
Well, that's marriage for you,...
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Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone " Happy Birthday." I thought...
Well, that's marriage for you,...
Read More
The Pregnant Blonde
The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, 'what the heck', and I starting jumping up and down along with her.
She said, 'I have some really great news!'
I said, 'Great. Tell me why you're so happy.'
She...
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The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, 'what the heck', and I starting jumping up and down along with her.
She said, 'I have some really great news!'
I said, 'Great. Tell me why you're so happy.'
She...
Read More
blaineb693:
HAHAHA I love it! That was a good one.
A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door. It's opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse magazine tucked under his arm. Salesman: "Hello son. Is your mom or dad home ?"
Little boy: "What the f**k do you think?"
Little boy: "What the f**k do you think?"