Why do they always ask at the doctor's office, while you are in a room full of strangers, why you are there?
Sometimes the reason for the visit is embarrassing.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it:
A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The receptionist said, "Yes,...
Read More
Sometimes the reason for the visit is embarrassing.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it:
A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The receptionist said, "Yes,...
Read More
aerion:
Why thank you!
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle...
Read More
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle...
Read More
The commanding officer of a regiment in the U.S. Marine Corps was about to start the morning briefing to his
staff, battalion and company commanders. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.
He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual...
Read More
staff, battalion and company commanders. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.
He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual...
Read More
IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4...
Read More
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4...
Read More
YOU'VE GOTTA LOVE DRUNK PEOPLE
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed....
Read More
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed....
Read More
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer.
The three men had always done everything together.
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'...
Read More
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer.
The three men had always done everything together.
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'...
Read More
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to
a very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How
dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm
leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a...
Read More
a very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How
dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm
leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a...
Read More
agonistes_vental:
ha,that's fucking great.I love it!!!!! 
Little Johnnie's neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything...
Read More
When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything...
Read More
I was in the pub yesterday, when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
bitten:
oh my. 
carsickmusick:
at least they were rythmic ha.
your a funny dude
your a funny dude
Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be married
and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The conversation
eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives.
After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in
some S&M role playing. The following week they met up again to compare
notes.
Sipping her drink,...
Read More
and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The conversation
eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives.
After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in
some S&M role playing. The following week they met up again to compare
notes.
Sipping her drink,...
Read More
I was shopping at HEB (the local supermarket) this weekend and I noticed this little old lady following me around. Whenever I stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at me.
She finally overtook me at the checkout. She turned and said , "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."
I...
Read More
She finally overtook me at the checkout. She turned and said , "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."
I...
Read More
kas:
HAHAHAHAHAHA