snafu371964

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....

It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought....

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly...
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The Creation of Ohio

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been"?
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made".
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What...
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A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, a store
where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the
entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value
of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The
shopper may choose...
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An armed and hooded robber bursts into the Bank of Ireland and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door with the loot, one brave Irish customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face. The robber shoots the guy in the head without hesitation!

He then looks around the bank to see if...
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The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.

Grumpy leads the pack.

"Grumpy, my son," says the Pope, "What can I do for you?" Grumpy asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for...
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This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of tooting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because...
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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
Keep reading-they get better!!!
________________________________
WOMEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding...
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It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife,...
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AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 42 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "HONEY, 42 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT EVERY NIGHT I GOT TO SLEEP WITH A HOT 19-YEAR-OLD GAL. NOW I HAVE A $700,000 HOME, A $55,000 CAR, A...
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And that's how the fight started....

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive....so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight
started....

************************************************************************

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
would...
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At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9 year-old baseball players aside and asked, 'Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?' The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

'Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?' The little boy nodded 'yes'.

'So,' the coach continued, 'I'm sure you know,...
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Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked her, 'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'

She was taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'Well,...
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