snafu371964

cold jerky:

The process of suddenly and altogether stopping a perpetual masturbation habit.
Can apply to male or female.

The only way to stop was to go cold jerky.

The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he
snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with
him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with
his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot....
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Seven Degrees of Blonde

FIRST DEGREE
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The
wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and
said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The
husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman
wanting to know if the coast...
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I don't know if the story below is true or not, but the reason for red shirt
Friday is still valid.

Red Shirt

If the Red shirt thing is new to you, read below how it went for a man...

Last week, while traveling to Chicago on business, I noticed a Marine
sergeant traveling with a folded flag, but did not put two and two...
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Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.
As they walk, they come across a sign:
"Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."
"I am entering!" said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes ou t and they ask her, "Well, how'd you do?"
"First Place!" said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see...
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A WOMAN'S POEM:

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
One who'll pull out my chair and hold...
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IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.
I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull ...
But that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard...
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An Ohio State Buckeye fan is drinking in a New York bar, when he gets a call
on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round
of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth
to a typical Ohio State Buckeye baby boy weighing 25 pounds..

Nobody can believe that any new baby...
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