This is what I just submitted to a job posting:
To begin with, I'm handy. Not like fixing an espresso machine handy, but I'm kinda tall like a giant. And how nice is it to have a giant that can reach the stuff on the top shelf? And it gets better, I'm not just a giant, but a dancing giant. And when I say "dance" I don't mean like ballet or ballroom, but like a shimmy and a shake with a bit of a wiggle. Sounds funny, right? It is. I mean, can you really have a bad day when you come in for a coffee and see a hyper-efficient dancing giant? I think not.
What if I told you that this dancing giant was a ginger kid too? Well then, you'd have a real spectacle on your hands. And you know those ginger kids, with their fair skin and all, can't be out in the sun too long. So I spend a lot of time inside...at coffee shops.
And I'm strong, not like 'World's Strongest Woman' strong, but I can lift over 50 pounds and carry it all over the place. So I'm helpful on shipment days.
To recap: I'm a giant, redheaded, super strong lady that loves her some coffee.
I am punctual, hard working and have worked as a barista before. My availability is wide open and I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks!
I will laugh if I get a call back
