Waffle House
I've never been to one until recently. I've heard of them, of course, and the thought of Waffle House is usually lumped in with trailer parks and incest.
This past weekend, I went to New Orleans with my super hot drinking buddy, Steph, and she insisted that I experience a Waffle House at least once. I wasn't crazy about the idea...it's like someone saying, "What?! You've never taken a shit on a homeless guy? You've got to try it!" So we stopped in Wherethefuckarewe, Louisiana and prepared for some cheap-ass road trip food.
The building is as big as a shoe box, and the interior looks like a food chain of 100 restaurants had a budget of about $5000. But at least they all match, right? I've never seen restaurants painted the color of urine.
For a place called "Waffle House", you'd think there'd be more than one type of waffle. Well, there's not. And only one type of syrup. They don't fuck with a good thing, apparently. However, they make up for it by giving you 50 million ways to have your hash browns...you can have 'em with cheese, ham, jalapenos, onions, sausage, butter, more butter, margarine, hot sauce, salsa, etc...and you can have them whipped, dipped, barbecued, fried, boiled, douched...Those fuckers don't care.
Now, I gotta say...the food rocked. It was just as mediocre as any IHOP, and half as much, so fuck their 15 types of syrup. My roommate said the problem he had with the chain is that the floor slopes into the middle of the building, where there's a drain...kind of like eating in a shower. But hey, I understand that. The menus are laminated. Everything is designed to be drunk/kid proof. With a place like Waffle House that's opened for 24 hours, you have to be able to hose the bitch down. Mopping is not an option.
One last thing: The check (for both of us) was $12.53. I gave the older lady behind the counter $20.53. I then watched as she used a calculator to give me the correct change of...$8.00. But I'm blaming this on the State of Louisiana, not the restaurant chain. Any state that has Boudreaux's Butt Paste in every drug store probably has education issues.
I've never been to one until recently. I've heard of them, of course, and the thought of Waffle House is usually lumped in with trailer parks and incest.
This past weekend, I went to New Orleans with my super hot drinking buddy, Steph, and she insisted that I experience a Waffle House at least once. I wasn't crazy about the idea...it's like someone saying, "What?! You've never taken a shit on a homeless guy? You've got to try it!" So we stopped in Wherethefuckarewe, Louisiana and prepared for some cheap-ass road trip food.
The building is as big as a shoe box, and the interior looks like a food chain of 100 restaurants had a budget of about $5000. But at least they all match, right? I've never seen restaurants painted the color of urine.
For a place called "Waffle House", you'd think there'd be more than one type of waffle. Well, there's not. And only one type of syrup. They don't fuck with a good thing, apparently. However, they make up for it by giving you 50 million ways to have your hash browns...you can have 'em with cheese, ham, jalapenos, onions, sausage, butter, more butter, margarine, hot sauce, salsa, etc...and you can have them whipped, dipped, barbecued, fried, boiled, douched...Those fuckers don't care.
Now, I gotta say...the food rocked. It was just as mediocre as any IHOP, and half as much, so fuck their 15 types of syrup. My roommate said the problem he had with the chain is that the floor slopes into the middle of the building, where there's a drain...kind of like eating in a shower. But hey, I understand that. The menus are laminated. Everything is designed to be drunk/kid proof. With a place like Waffle House that's opened for 24 hours, you have to be able to hose the bitch down. Mopping is not an option.
One last thing: The check (for both of us) was $12.53. I gave the older lady behind the counter $20.53. I then watched as she used a calculator to give me the correct change of...$8.00. But I'm blaming this on the State of Louisiana, not the restaurant chain. Any state that has Boudreaux's Butt Paste in every drug store probably has education issues.
