i'm so drunk that i'm pissing clear, but i'm not so drunk that i don't understand WHY i'm pissing clear.
someone please pith me. (by the way, you get bonus points if you know what the word "pith" means [in this context] without looking it up.)
oddly enough, i knew how to kill via this method long before medical school. in fact, i used to teach it. it's frighteningly simple.
tonight i listened to irish music and drank an irresponsible amout of beer with 2 doctors. one was my intern last May. the other worked with me during the Hurricane Katrina Relief Effort. both were shocked (SHOCKED) at how different i act when i'm not around patients. perhaps i shouldn't have shouted my philosophy of pain management. ("if i don't get percocet, then you don't get percocet. FUCK OFF!") i attempted to explain to them that i studied drama in college, therefore i have an amazing talent for faking empathy. i also demonstrated my technique by leaning forward, cocking my head slightly to one side, and nodding knowingly. what can i say? everyone's good at something.
i don't think i helped this situation with my later actions. one of the docs was interested in a girl at the bar. he spoke with her, but nothing came of it. (he didn't use the opening line i suggested. "hey baby, i make more money than you can spend.") as it turns out, this girl was with a guy. (you're probably thinking what i'm thinking. "so. fucking. what.") when he returned to the table and told the story, i pulled out my knife and said, "you give me the word, and this guy shits in a bag for the rest of his life." yes, i know how to make this happen. no, i wasn't serious. apparently, he didn't get the joke because he was very nervous around me for the rest of the night. i really shouldn't drink with people i don't know.
someone please pith me. (by the way, you get bonus points if you know what the word "pith" means [in this context] without looking it up.)
oddly enough, i knew how to kill via this method long before medical school. in fact, i used to teach it. it's frighteningly simple.
tonight i listened to irish music and drank an irresponsible amout of beer with 2 doctors. one was my intern last May. the other worked with me during the Hurricane Katrina Relief Effort. both were shocked (SHOCKED) at how different i act when i'm not around patients. perhaps i shouldn't have shouted my philosophy of pain management. ("if i don't get percocet, then you don't get percocet. FUCK OFF!") i attempted to explain to them that i studied drama in college, therefore i have an amazing talent for faking empathy. i also demonstrated my technique by leaning forward, cocking my head slightly to one side, and nodding knowingly. what can i say? everyone's good at something.
i don't think i helped this situation with my later actions. one of the docs was interested in a girl at the bar. he spoke with her, but nothing came of it. (he didn't use the opening line i suggested. "hey baby, i make more money than you can spend.") as it turns out, this girl was with a guy. (you're probably thinking what i'm thinking. "so. fucking. what.") when he returned to the table and told the story, i pulled out my knife and said, "you give me the word, and this guy shits in a bag for the rest of his life." yes, i know how to make this happen. no, i wasn't serious. apparently, he didn't get the joke because he was very nervous around me for the rest of the night. i really shouldn't drink with people i don't know.
I looked it up. Still... eek.
Threatening to disembowel someone with a knife is a lovely way to alienate people and get odd looks.
Jealous? Have you ever seen up close an original copy of De Humanis Corporis Fabrica by Andreas Vesalius?