smiffter

I say faaaarr too much sometimes.

I think things are improving, I'm at least facing the in the right direction I hope...I lose my bearings a lot these days, especially on the subway, it's like my internal compass is spinning round in circles until I get above ground and can see where I am.
I started writing again, well, more regularly, I came up with this wee poem the other day when I was walking to the bank;

___

...and I'm beginning to notice shards of the sky strewn across the pavement,
and I'm not going to say I get scared,
but it happens.

I know I'll falter under the weight of it when it falls,
and I hope it doesn't think I'm going to hold it up,
because I'm simply not that strong,
I hope it never asks me to be.

How many people will worship the empty sky?

I'm not going to say I'm waiting for that day to come,
but it's going to happen.

___

I have no idea how good it is, I just like that it kind of fell out of my head onto the page, it's been a long time since I've been able to do that, I think my brain's trying to tell me things are improving.

At the moment, I'm really just concentrating on getting my college stuff done so I can get it out of the way, so I can do lots of fun stuff over the summer (sans paperwork) so I can practice filming/editing so I can be dead good next year. A lot people are talking about doing big things, making short films and ideas for TV shows...and it's all cool, maybe they'll do a really good job, but for the time being I'm happy with my mini-cam and my imagination.

I'm also starting to feel more comfortable generally, a lot of stuff doesn't bother me...I'm really just doing my own thing most of the time, luckily, "my own thing" seems to be everyone else's.

All I want to happen in the foreseeable future is to have a decent summer, not have to work some dingy office job over it and to trick a girl into liking me before give up altogether.

Stay safe,

Smiffy.