smf6009

I was trying to think what my first entry into this journal should be. I just came across a great thing to write.
I just pissed my close friend off because I was acting like a fucking idiot. I yelled at her for the dumbest thing and now she hates me. She was unable to accept my apology and told me to go to hell. This is the second time in two weeks I have made a girl cry.
Lately I have been filled with hate for no apparent reason. 2 weeks ago, I said something about my teacher and good friend's dead father. I didn't mean to sound mean but she took it that way. She said "Fuck You" and started crying in front of the class saying "Adam, you are so sarcastic and pragmatic that you don't even stop to think of other people's feelings!" Perhaps this is true. Maybe I am an asshole, but it's not my fault; at least I don't think it is.
Lately I have been filled with the hate and anger I had 3 years ago. It seems I have forgotten how to control it the way I once did. I was happy for a long time and suddenly took a nose dive. It would be fine if it only affected me and not all the people around me. I need to get over this.