smashedhead

So I came across some good news today, it's 10 times easier than before to take advantage of me! ... allow me to elaborate for you

I'm a celiac (that means I can't eat wheat, barley or rye) been one for more than a few years now. According to the doc it's a disease but I like to think of it as more of a badass rebel allergy with a devil may care attitude! Anywhoo, my body can't take it, it'll slowly kill me blah, blah, blah, the only sucky part is unlike most celiacs I never had any side effects besides the slowly dying/cancer thing (so really it was kinda cool, cause I could eat and it was the same equivalent as me smoking, I get all the same bad ass cred while eating a cupcake in the smoke pit with the rest of the hipsters)

Now moving on with the story, the important part is I never "had" any symptoms. So I've been pretty good with the "12 step cookie binging recovery" program hadn't eaten anything in a long time. Today was my dad's birthday and we went to my sisters for supper, she made some stew and dumplings and forgot I was coming but I told her not to worry and delightfully scarfed down the wheat filled goodness on my plate

...... 3 hours later

I wake up

So it turns out I developed a side effect at some point, either that or my families slipping me the drugs (which hasn't been completely ruled out yet) Seems that wheat has now become like a really tasty form of chloroform for me. I chomp some down and a few momento's later Dan-O's down and out!

Now you may be asking yourself "Danny how can this be good news?"

And I answer..... Think of how easy it will be to take advantage of me now! I'm easier than Lindsay Lohan, and a heck of alot cheaper thats for sure! You don't have to spend time and money on shots, rum, steak dinners, rufies or any of that other stuff to have your way with me, just give a box of oreo's and watch this guy eat his way into a coma!

I rock my literal and metaphorical socks off!!!