Ladies and Gentlemen,
Over the past few weeks, I've felt terrible, stomach flipping inside and out, all sorts of I'll save you the details sorts of things. I cut out one of my best friends in the world, Coffee. I blamed him for everything. As soon as I did, I started getting better. Then I changed my vitamin regiment and felt even better. With coffee out of the picture I also added stress in there, I mean, who doesn't like to blame stress. So, out of these two a*&holes, stress didn't want to seem to leave. As usual, I coped with his annoying presence. And for a while now I've been feeling better, all the time talking trash about my ex-friend, coffee.
Well, sitting here at home, thinking about my 8th cup of tea for the day, I saw out of the corner of my eye, the devil himself. The pigment-less sh*thead from my past, coffee.
He came over all "hi!" and whatever.
So I said "what's up?"
we talked back and forth
and before I knew it, we were back in each others arms. Dang it! I thought to myself. He seduced me! What a son-of-bleep!
Well, now that we've sort of "made up" I'll keep you posted on if he hurts me again.
God! Why do I do this to myself? I know this is going to end badly.
At least I used protection*.
*Protection, That's what I was really trying to get to here. We all need to talk about a serious matter. So during my cleaning binge this afternoon I took apart my espresso machine. I found a playground full of rocks and minerals in there. Now I know I should use distilled water in it, but lets be honest, who actually goes out and buys distilled water to put in their coffee/espresso machine? Hmm? Noneya! Okay, back to the matter at hand, I"m pretty sure I was causing myself detrimental harm because of this misused machine. I URGE you all to please, clean or replace your wake up sauce machines. It may save your life!
Over the past few weeks, I've felt terrible, stomach flipping inside and out, all sorts of I'll save you the details sorts of things. I cut out one of my best friends in the world, Coffee. I blamed him for everything. As soon as I did, I started getting better. Then I changed my vitamin regiment and felt even better. With coffee out of the picture I also added stress in there, I mean, who doesn't like to blame stress. So, out of these two a*&holes, stress didn't want to seem to leave. As usual, I coped with his annoying presence. And for a while now I've been feeling better, all the time talking trash about my ex-friend, coffee.
Well, sitting here at home, thinking about my 8th cup of tea for the day, I saw out of the corner of my eye, the devil himself. The pigment-less sh*thead from my past, coffee.
He came over all "hi!" and whatever.
So I said "what's up?"
we talked back and forth
and before I knew it, we were back in each others arms. Dang it! I thought to myself. He seduced me! What a son-of-bleep!
Well, now that we've sort of "made up" I'll keep you posted on if he hurts me again.
God! Why do I do this to myself? I know this is going to end badly.
At least I used protection*.
*Protection, That's what I was really trying to get to here. We all need to talk about a serious matter. So during my cleaning binge this afternoon I took apart my espresso machine. I found a playground full of rocks and minerals in there. Now I know I should use distilled water in it, but lets be honest, who actually goes out and buys distilled water to put in their coffee/espresso machine? Hmm? Noneya! Okay, back to the matter at hand, I"m pretty sure I was causing myself detrimental harm because of this misused machine. I URGE you all to please, clean or replace your wake up sauce machines. It may save your life!
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
black_bear:
I'm glad I don't drink coffee. cause I'm a lazy fuck and the same thing would have happenend to me I guess!
ebsheep:
Coffee sure does get around. He's been using me for a while now. I just can't seem to cut him off!
