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slut_free_youth

Miami, FL

Member Since 2004

Followers 132 Following 106

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Thursday Apr 21, 2005

Apr 21, 2005
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i'm going to the doctors today, before i head to massachusetts for the big weekend of music... i need to get checked out...
there is this on-going battle that is occuring inside my body. my mind is jumbled. i'm always drifting. when i wake up from what i assume is a good dream, i can't remember it. and i'm sickened by it. i have no appetite, at all. when i force myself to eat, i get sick. i find myself never sleepy anymore. i force myself to sleep and even then i feel awake. i have really no emotion right now. never angry, never excited. i feel one dimensional. i go to the gym as usual, walk my animals as usual, hang out with the gang as usual, go to shows all the time as usual.. but i'm fighting something... something.
i signed all the paperwork for my new place. april and i are moving into this beautiful loft...almost 1700 sq ft, two story with a mezzanine. beautiful view of the las vegas strip. everything is high-designer style. simply beautiful. marble flooring, marble countertops... we're living like royalty... at Loft5Vegas.
yesterday, april looked at me, and i looked at her, and she laughed and said "we're so damn cool, we have our own fucking club baby!".. it was so cute. Club 5 is "exclusive" for residents only. simply beautiful. spas, gyms, massage therapists. there's a shopping mall less than 4 blocks away, convenient to everything.
move in date is June 1, 2005. They have to complete the package and all the immentities that we wanted in the loft. the price for the loft is amazing. oh! and one of neighbors is kerry king.. ( he needed a party penthouse... or something? ) we saw him with his bulldog... he was really cool and we were talking about tattoos and music... it was funny.
... i should be really excited about this, but with this fight that is going on in my body, i don't know how to be excited for it. april thinks i have someone or something on my mind that i can't seem to forget about. i know who she is talking about, and it's not that. he has nothing to do with it. sam swears i'm going crazy, perhaps because we went to see absent minded last night and i was throwing jolly ranchers at people's heads, and blaming the big guy behind me. i think i'm just lost right now... everything is so perfect that i don't know how to react to it. i'm used to having things all jumbled and confusing and shit being thrown at me.. that i would laugh about everything that came my way because it was easier that way, but now that everything seems so clear and serene, i'm confused.

i'll found out today what's really going on.

xoxoxo
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
stomp:
Damn. Rocking out in Vegas, a dream of mine.
Apr 22, 2005
wolfman:
Hope ya feel better. The new pad sounds rockin.
Apr 24, 2005

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