Why do stories of other peoples lifes make me miserable and leave me literually crying for them?
All it takes is one letter, journal entry or spoken word thats leaves me in hours of endless thought and tears. I put it down to the fact that i have either been though the same deal or haven't.
Why do i say i hate people?
Hate is such a stong word, I don't hate people in fact i admire people. People have brought me into this world, they have brought me great happiness along with great sadness, dissapointment and emotional truama, and will oneday take me out of this world. I don't hate people i just dispise some. Animals are different they are they only thing i can trust and believe in and for that sense of innocense they bring to me i love them more then words.
Why do i feel love? Whats the point?
I hate loving, it only makes endings dramatic. Endings should be happy occasions i think! Why go though the emotional hurt when goodbyes should be a blessing of a time where you know enough is enough, a time to think back to the good times you did share instead of nasty goodbyes. At the same time i do crave for the love i once shared but i want it ten times better. I want to feel like i am loved not just someone to say i love you too. I want pain free love but being human that will never happen.
Why am i lonely?
I am lonely because i put myself in situations that only leave me hurt and broken. I am not lonely in my life as such i have a million lovely animals and people to be by my side for life but my heart itself is quite lonely.
Why have i set myself this task of answering my own questions?
Because i need to answer them to be completely at ease with myself. I am going though a funny time at the moment. Somedays i am up and somedays i am down. I need to start allowing myself time to find myself again. To make sense of myself, to lay my issues to rest and let go of those standing in my way. So yes i am all emotional again and its showing i am dizzy and on the verge of throwing up everyday, why do i let things get to me i shouldn't stress but i do and it needs to change.
I want to go back to the old Rach that had no negitives only positives, was free and at peace with herself. A fast option would be to go back to the start of lets say 2003 where i had no stuff arounds just fun! Add a few people from the now and it would be awesome. I wish but life isn't meant to be easy so this is my way of dealing! Asking my self stupid questions sitting in my mind and responding.
This isn't always me i just go down sometimes (too much thinking). So sorry about my rant but i feel better getting it out this way!
All it takes is one letter, journal entry or spoken word thats leaves me in hours of endless thought and tears. I put it down to the fact that i have either been though the same deal or haven't.
Why do i say i hate people?
Hate is such a stong word, I don't hate people in fact i admire people. People have brought me into this world, they have brought me great happiness along with great sadness, dissapointment and emotional truama, and will oneday take me out of this world. I don't hate people i just dispise some. Animals are different they are they only thing i can trust and believe in and for that sense of innocense they bring to me i love them more then words.
Why do i feel love? Whats the point?
I hate loving, it only makes endings dramatic. Endings should be happy occasions i think! Why go though the emotional hurt when goodbyes should be a blessing of a time where you know enough is enough, a time to think back to the good times you did share instead of nasty goodbyes. At the same time i do crave for the love i once shared but i want it ten times better. I want to feel like i am loved not just someone to say i love you too. I want pain free love but being human that will never happen.
Why am i lonely?
I am lonely because i put myself in situations that only leave me hurt and broken. I am not lonely in my life as such i have a million lovely animals and people to be by my side for life but my heart itself is quite lonely.
Why have i set myself this task of answering my own questions?
Because i need to answer them to be completely at ease with myself. I am going though a funny time at the moment. Somedays i am up and somedays i am down. I need to start allowing myself time to find myself again. To make sense of myself, to lay my issues to rest and let go of those standing in my way. So yes i am all emotional again and its showing i am dizzy and on the verge of throwing up everyday, why do i let things get to me i shouldn't stress but i do and it needs to change.
I want to go back to the old Rach that had no negitives only positives, was free and at peace with herself. A fast option would be to go back to the start of lets say 2003 where i had no stuff arounds just fun! Add a few people from the now and it would be awesome. I wish but life isn't meant to be easy so this is my way of dealing! Asking my self stupid questions sitting in my mind and responding.
This isn't always me i just go down sometimes (too much thinking). So sorry about my rant but i feel better getting it out this way!
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
rocketeer:
emo journal ...wow
comboy20:
i know what you feel abot the letters i do the same thing. like my frineds are all getting divorced and they are like oh well its over lets party and it totally bumbs me out.