Tuesday Dec 21, 2004

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i am not leaving on the 28th. i might be leaving on the 29th. i might be stuck in this shitty little town for the rest of my natural life. the euphoria has worn off, in case you couldn't tell. why does this have to be so fucking complicated? why can't i just get in my car and get the hell out of dodge? i don't know the address of the apartment in asheville. i don't even have the phone number. i don't know when i'm leaving, or where i'm going to stay on the way down there. my mother is freaking out. a day doesn't go by in which she hasn't made several comments about how hard things are going to be when i leave, how i should say goodbye to the dog because he'll probably die before i come back up here. great. thanks for the encouragement.
lotusmonger:
mom's always think that, most say it frown
She'll be fine but leaving town always means leaving somebody behind... it's not always meant to be easy to leave... sheeeiiiiit i'm still at home with my folks but i live in a house and hood i want to die old in. and not to make you feel bad slight, but i couldn't leave my dog nor take her from this house. i'm fucking bound but that's just where i am right now.

anyways, you'll get out if you really want to. just don't rent those movies where people are trying to leave town but circumstances keep them around tyinkg up loose ends and such until it gets frantic and they get killed before they can leave town and start a new life. Wild Bunch is kinda like that. Nic Cage and Lara Flynn Boyle in Red Rocks West is i think like that, it's been a while since I saw it. come to think of it, it's kinda my favorite dramatic theme. think i'll write a few. I also love the tyrant buffoon like Mr. Burns and Black Adder

i don't usually say this because it is such shite advice to get, but stay positive, or at least distracted with positive things. asinine i know, but i'm six feet away from homeless sometimes and I try not to feel it too much miao!!

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