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sleazy_e

Philadelphia, PA

Member Since 2007

Followers 134 Following 159

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Tuesday Jun 02, 2009

Jun 2, 2009
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A few random thoughts: surreal

1 - Near my house is a place called "BJ's WHOLESALE". It's one of those places where you buy things in bulk. Is it just me, or should a place with the words BJ, wHOLE, and sale in the name sell prostitutes? Is it just too hard to market hookers sold by the "gross"?

2 - Can somebody explain how Magic Johnson keeps getting fatter instead of looking like he has AIDS?

3 - If Barry Manilow were a gansta rapper, would he write the songs that make the world buy bling?

4 - I met a girl who refered to her vagina as "the candy shop". I wonder if she could be charged with murder if she let a diabetic go down on her?

5 - When you go broke at a casino they say you "lost your shirt". Shouldn't they call it losing your pants so it sounds like a good thing? It's all about marketing.

6 - How much does a hooker charge if you just want to be held?

7 - Is it really fair to ask "What would Jesus do?" His options were very limited. Wandering through the desert and eventually getting nailed to a cross would have probably lost out if he had to choose between that and, let's say, getting stoned and playing X-BOX.

8 - Was there a team of researchers doing studies and testing to find out for sure that Colt .45 works everytime, or was Billy D Williams just talking shit?

9 - I think the phrase 'I feel like shit' is used wrong. Shit is warm and soft. Since when is warm and soft a bad thing?

10 - What does it take to make a porn star that does German Scheisse films say, "Eww, that's gross"?

11 - At what age is it no longer cute when you toot?

12 - Does it make landscapers angry that hula dancers have a bush under their grass?

13 - If the voices in your head are female voices, will they stop talking to you if you tell them they look fat?

14 - Why are El Caminos driven more often by racist white people than Mexicans? Is "El Camino" Spanish for "The Shitty Car"?

15 - Do blackbirds tweet in Ebonics?

16 - If you are trying to go un-noticed by a werewolf, do you act natural, or SUPERnatural?

17 - Wouldn't "Pigs on the wing" would be a fun name for an all female Pink Floyd tribute band?

18 - Does it smell good when an Angel farts?

19 - How and where do homeless couples meet?

20 - Every woman I know says they want a guy with a good sense of humor. I'm a comedian. Humor is how I make a living, yet I've been single for two years. Is "good sense of humor" just girl code for "big dick and lots of money"?


Your input is greatly appreciated. biggrin
kraven:
NOoooooooooo you are the awsomestestestestest...... Thanks for the love on the new set!! HAPPY HUMP DAY!
Jun 24, 2009
nekta:
She call's her vag "the candy shop?"
For me, that sound's a bid odd. surreal
Jul 6, 2009

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