I can't wait to see what Hell looks like: 
Because I'm a despicable human being, I usually look to the pain and suffering of others for my own personal amusment. However, occasionally I have a hard time finding it so I create it.
I've found that the lonely hearts club of the Craigs List personal ads is as good a place as any for this. Most people don't like to be alone, and are desperate to not be alone. With desperation comes easy victems.
I recently posted an ad that explains the woes I've been having with dating ever since an industrial accident caused me to lose all of the toes on my left foot. As if that wasn't bad enough, the lack of toes on one side was effecting my balance so doctors cut off my nose and used it to make a toe. An anchor, if you will. something to help with the balance problems I'd been having.
Well, I stopped leaning and falling, but now I had no nose, and who wants to date a guy with no nose? The lonely women of Craigs List, that's who.
A good decent gal read my post and took pitty on me. She agreed to have dinner with me. This raised a problem. I didn't actually lose me toes or my nose. I can't very well show up for my date with a nose, now can I?
I had no choice but to stand her up. This poor deer had to sit at the bar in my favorite restaurant (Devon) waiting... Eventually, I'm sure it sunk in that she was being stood up. In fact, I know it did because I went to watch this wonderful event unfold in person.
After about a half hour I asked her who she was waiting for, and she told me the story about how she had been stood up by a guy with no nose. I told her that sucked and that the guy was an asshole. Then I said, "I'd invite you to join me, but if a guy with no nose didn't even want you, there must be something seriously wrong with you." and then got up and left.
Right about now, I'm guessing she is swinging by the neck from the rafters in her apartment. Suicide would be the only fitting end to an evening like that.
When I get bored, I like to emotionally murder the few remaining decent people on Earth. Come to think of it, if she killed herself, I might be indirectly guilty of physically murdering the one of the few remaining decent people on Earth.
Let it never be said that I didn't do my part to help the world.
There's definately an over population problem.
THINK GREEN, PEOPLE!
Because I'm a despicable human being, I usually look to the pain and suffering of others for my own personal amusment. However, occasionally I have a hard time finding it so I create it.
I've found that the lonely hearts club of the Craigs List personal ads is as good a place as any for this. Most people don't like to be alone, and are desperate to not be alone. With desperation comes easy victems.
I recently posted an ad that explains the woes I've been having with dating ever since an industrial accident caused me to lose all of the toes on my left foot. As if that wasn't bad enough, the lack of toes on one side was effecting my balance so doctors cut off my nose and used it to make a toe. An anchor, if you will. something to help with the balance problems I'd been having.
Well, I stopped leaning and falling, but now I had no nose, and who wants to date a guy with no nose? The lonely women of Craigs List, that's who.
A good decent gal read my post and took pitty on me. She agreed to have dinner with me. This raised a problem. I didn't actually lose me toes or my nose. I can't very well show up for my date with a nose, now can I?
I had no choice but to stand her up. This poor deer had to sit at the bar in my favorite restaurant (Devon) waiting... Eventually, I'm sure it sunk in that she was being stood up. In fact, I know it did because I went to watch this wonderful event unfold in person.
After about a half hour I asked her who she was waiting for, and she told me the story about how she had been stood up by a guy with no nose. I told her that sucked and that the guy was an asshole. Then I said, "I'd invite you to join me, but if a guy with no nose didn't even want you, there must be something seriously wrong with you." and then got up and left.
Right about now, I'm guessing she is swinging by the neck from the rafters in her apartment. Suicide would be the only fitting end to an evening like that.
When I get bored, I like to emotionally murder the few remaining decent people on Earth. Come to think of it, if she killed herself, I might be indirectly guilty of physically murdering the one of the few remaining decent people on Earth.
Let it never be said that I didn't do my part to help the world.
There's definately an over population problem.
THINK GREEN, PEOPLE!