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sldnhffg

york

Hopeful Since 2009

Followers 432 Following 450

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Wednesday Dec 30, 2009

Dec 30, 2009
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So, christmas is over, we've all eaten too much and have no money.
I know i definately have.
Christmas day just felt like any other day.

Ive worked quite a bit, but havent done much revision for my 7 exams in january.

My depression feels worse, and after going to the doctor and being patronised a couple of months ago, nothings happening. She sounded like she didnt have a clue what she was dealing with, she didnt ask me about any of my symptoms or about how it was actually effecting me, she just decided she'd send me back to this place i used to go when i was like 13. She said i'd get a letter from them, and a home visit, then theyd sort out when my therapy would start. Nothing. About a month passed, then i got a letter from my doctor saying i need to book an appointment immediately, without saying why. So i rang them up and explained about the letter, and the receptionist said that i had to see the mental health specialist, who incidently only comes in once a month, and the nearest appointment was a month and a half away. So i booked an appointment for that day, then found out i had an exam on that morning and had to cancel it, and i'll have to ring up in about a month to book an appointment for the month after that to see this woman.

What a load of absolute bollocks. I dont know what more i can do.

Im starting to hate my fuck buddy a bit. Ive realised since i had all these feelings for him, i didnt notice that he was being a knob to me. Of course, at the time i thought he was the answer to all my problems, now i think he's probably made my problems worse, and none of it was worth it.

Stuff at work is getting me down, i feel really isolated, and afterabout 3 months i still havent really settled in. having said that, its been far better than my old job and i wish i was getting kept on, and when i leave i'll miss it.
My contract finishes on january 10th, and so i need to start looking for a new job, back to square one.

On the plus, my shoot with Miro is soon, and im really looking foreward to it, both meeting her and doing the shoot.
Also, i met some old friends the other night for drinks and he had a pretty good time, albeit short lived, because my friend didnt pace herself and drank too much vodka and needed to go home early whateversmile

Also ive got an offer from bradford uni, and leeds universities. Now ive got to try and get the grades.
Ive just lost all motivation with school and im finding it really difficult to keep up with studying and learning stuff for the exams. I shouldnt be sitting 7 in january, its more than twice of what most other people in my year are doing. Ive got either 4 or 5 resits because im basically resitting all of my psychology AS again, + a few other of my AS exams because i did horrendously last year, and a couple of them were supposed to be sat this coming june, but for some reason i was entered early. So ive got to learn over 100 studies for psychology, i have to learn theory for sociology of education and crime, and ive got to practise my essay technique, then ive got to finish an investigation for my media studies coursework. Im shitting my pants.

Anyway, happy new year. oink


VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
nelipot:
i went to leeds uni, you'll have a lot of fun if you decide to go there biggrin

hope you find a better doctor soon, doesn't sound as if she's being much help. frown

Jan 2, 2010
reuben:
PICCCKKKKLLLLEEEEE
Which one? Creamy's birthday? Ja I thinks so. biggrin Would be silly of me not to really.. Laaaaandan bird that I am (for nowtongue)
You gonna be thurrr? xx
Jan 2, 2010

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