slavewire

it's so much easier to hate myself than to be happy with myself.. coz it takes effort.. and for the past 2 days i didn't feel like making an effort. there's a strange twisted pleasure to be derived from the effortless desire to be miserable. i'm ok today but i get like that about twice a month and it only lasts about a day each time, except this time it lasted two days, so i must've been seriously fuckin depressed..
but you know when you've achieved been visually miserable when friends are constantly askin you if you're ok. but i wasn't lookin for any attention.. in fact i just wanted to wallow in my own self pity,. i didn't wanna see anyone or speak to anyone.. or did i......

well this is what i look like when miserable and angry..


and this when i'm happy...


ha!
yea.. it the same pic..
but my statement is still relevant.. coz i never smile for the camera. coz when i do, i remind me of Cheshire cat from alice in wonderland. the cat with the huge broad grin on it's face..


i've had the fuckin flu for a whole fuckin week.. but apart from a sore throat i'm better now. i spend 18 hours in bed today.. 18!! i can't remember the last time i spent 12 hours in bed, nevermind 18.... and it was fuckin excellent! all those vivid dreams! some of which i can still remember. and they were all connected. it actually felt strange being back in the real world and havin to do 'normal' things like brush my teeth and feed my body and quench my thirst.. and worry about fuckin money and other shit..! fuck
i wanna go back to dreamland...

watched these over the last few days..

loved this


didn't like this too much..


good action scenes, but found it too pretentious and without takeshi kitano, not as good as the first

but also got my next Clive Barker book in the post..


but still reading somethin else at the mo.. so much to read, never any time....

added new pics of crap