slannyfaced

So, I dreamt about her last nite. We were having sex. It was great. She was on top. I pulled her face down to me and kissed her and thanked her for coming back to life. She just sat there and starred at me like she didn't know what I was talking about and I hugged and squeezed her and cried. Not the best sex...
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I see dead people...

So me and a buddy went to Sounds of the Underground in T.O. last week......gotta say it was pretty good for the most part. Poison the Well and Chaimara were quite impressive, but ofcourse Clutch stole the show, no big surprise there. Gwar was pretty damn funny, big 3 foot demon cock and balls swinging in the wind. The whole entire...
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So here's some more oddness to add to the mix of my life. I went to this Mardi Gras party in Hess Village in The Hammer on the weekend.....fucking rammed.....got totally shit-faced and had a drunken make out with this chick. After we make out she tells me her name.......can anyone guess what it might be?.......Stephanie.....

.....and the plot thickens....

Is life too fuckin' wierd...
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not sure if I mentioned this in one of my earlier journals, but it really sucks being in love with a dead girl.....really, really sucks...

It's only been about 5 months since she passed, so I'm hoping given more time I will be able to love someone else again, but as for now it still feels like cheating even looking at another woman...


still love...
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What the Bleep Do We Know?........perhaps more than we should....but it's still not enough.....

Dreamt about her last night...only it wasn't really her. It was another girl with her eyes. I don't remember exactly how we ended up kissing, but we were and this girl opened her eyes and looked at me while she was kissing me and she had Stephanie's eyes....it freaked me out at first but at the same time made me so happy. Then she closed...
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felt human the other day......but that's now long gone.....

Not sure if anyone here has ever had a panic attack or not, but they aren't all that fun...to say the least ....................
Just felt I had to leave so I did.......then one arm went numb.....then the other........then my face went numb and my lips were clamped hard and I couldnt move them......my eye balls were shaking making it hard to drive.....ofcourse I was crying...
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So, here's another update to the fucked up life of The Slanny'd One....A good friend of mine kept getting these phone calls from telemarketers and didn't answer them.....nothing strange there....they even left messages for her but there was nothing there.....she finally decided to answer after a few weeks of constant calls only to have no one on the other end. She called the number back...
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So here's a pretty fucked up situation. I go over to Stephanie's sisters the other day and visit with her and her daughter Hannah. God I love that kid. Now I know why Steph was always going on about her. She is only 2 and you can actually carry on a conversation with her.
Anyway, while I was there Hannah starts laughing and waving her...
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