skys

ok this has been edited for a lighter note on yesterdays blog here you will just find my thought son a career. these aren't meant as a blog so much more for an expression on how i'm feeling, you know writing shit down make it easier to make sense of it,

Recently i have spent a lot of time thinking, i allow myself a quota of some serious thinking time, but right now i have far gone these boundaries. i'm not saying that i go through parts of my life without thinking but i think sometimes it can be detremental to your health and sanity if you spend too much time dwelling on things.

these have revolved around several things. firstly options for a career and the future, it's unfotuantely it was not such a great idea not completeling my college course. but i know i was being truthful as to myself. the course was run inadiquiatley with them not sticking to the guidelines, i.e setting out impossible targets with word countent and reasearch limits when i was one of the very few to stick to these guidelines ( which i like anyone else would think that you would be penalised for not sticking within this) this was not the case and apparently not being toold what I was meant to do was actually the right thing to do........who would have thought this (not me obviously) it muct have been one of those "opposite days" that know one told me about. Realistically i was not one of the favourites. i am not a barbie and i had my own ideas, so some more strike outs on my part and lastly and most importantly, london is ridicoulsy expensive city to live in and i could not justify getting myself into thousands of pounds worth of dept to walk away with probably no grade......cut and run

is it really what i wanted to do anyway?

hhhhhhmmmm i don't know i think it would be fun to do prosthetics again but unfortunately it would mean living in a large film based city and i don't think i'm that kid,

so what to do these are the other options i have been comtimplating and throwing around my head, trying to do some kind of counsorlling psycho therapy of some sort. i'm very intrigued when i hear about pyschology and stuff like that but when it comes to listening to others problems i cannot help but give advice.I know that is not part of it and you are meant to let people talk through there problems and ask such things "and how does that make you feel" which i don't really feel i could ask that and then leave it there.

events organising. i used to be a promoter for charity nights and i really enjoyed the thrill of that, i love it when a plan comes together sort of scenario, but this is something i get very involved in and cause it was a charity event i would put lots of times and effort in. but doing it for a job would it mean as much to me???

other stuff hhmmm???