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skutch

Portland, OR

Member Since 2003

Followers 1 Following 48

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Friday Sep 02, 2005

Sep 2, 2005
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I have nothing miraculous to report aside from the fact that I recently discovered how good chocolate Teddy Grahams are, and now I'm eating them like crazy, which is fine because you get like a ton in one box and it's a good source of calcium anyways, especially if you wash them down with milk.
The strange part is that I've never had them before, and probably never would have got them at all except that they were in a dream I had the other night and suddenly I just wanted some. It was a very good dream, but there's no need to go into details here.
Things are happening, but not a whole lot more than what I've mentioned before. My contract is almost up at work, and I can't imagine they'll extend it or keep me on in a permanent status, as I've spent most of my time there either doing nothing or working towards making my job unnecessary. Which is nice. Most of my days now are spent online in a quest for better employment. But for some reason pretty much the only responses I've gotten so far are from insurance companies, and I'm nowhere near that sleazy. Ah well. Something will turn up. Something usually does right around now. If not then it's going to be fun trying to figure out how to pay rent in a couple of months. Which reminds me, I need to start writing checks more instead of using online payments, because I still have a ton of checks from this series left, and I want new ones. Something more my style.
I'm still thinking a lot. Two very important people are leaving my life on the 1st of September, hopefully not forever. I don't want to go into it. But they know who they are and they know how I feel about them (by now I would hope so, anyways). So really what more is there to say?
So my older brother and I have a truly bizarre relationship, the primary element of which I think is our mutual distate for the drama that comes with being a member of my family, and pretty much a dislike of humans in general. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and hoping that he's still working on getting himself straightened out. I know it's difficult though. We all have a lot to overcome before we can even begin to approach normalcy. We were chatting the other day and it turns out he's still got a lot of unresolved issues from the time when we were wards of the state. It's not surprising exactly, in fact I should have figured on it giving his personality and sometimes-touchy nature, but eh... I don't even think about the old days.
His fiance Heather (who my dad apparently still refuses to call by name), is now pretty comfortable around me, I guess. Or at least she doesn't act like a stranger anymore. And that's fine. If we're going to be family and all. I know I give out a real kind of "leave me alone" vibe, so people tend to keep a respectable distance, but sometimes I do wish I could turn it off and just be relaxed and sociable, even with people I'm not necessarily close to.
Jared and Bridget might be moving back here. I guess they don't like Yakima at all. Which is awesome, far as I'm concerned. I've really missed having them here. In a way they're closer to me than my own family, in the sense that they understand my nature and accept and love me more. They've always been very good at making me feel accepted, which is unusual. So being with them and hanging out at their house was in a way a sort of getaway for when I was feeling down. I always felt safe and welcome there. Heh. Real friends are the ones who drug you so you won't try to walk home in the rain by yourself when you're delirious with a 104 degree fever. Ah, so many great memories.
Why do I always feel like my life started after I turned 18? Hmm.

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