I have a huge money spending problem.

I think it goes in hand with my mental illness(s). A few months ago I was dropping at least $70 a week at Target on makeup, clothes and just stupid stuff I already have a ton of. It's the thrill of getting something new, and having money to spend is dangerous to me. I always feel regretful, but try to justify that it was money well spent.

I was doing a really good job and not going to target when I was bored. Then this weekend I had to go with my mom to mall... and it's been downhill since then. It was like a trigger! I worked extra hours during the holidays and i had some extra money, and instead of putting it in my savings like I planned on doing so I didn't go broke again like a few months ago, I spent $200 :'( And now my anxiety has been thru the roof about money, and not even having room for the things I bought! I can sit here and call myself stupid and beat myself up, or I can watch My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic and draw.

I'm really going to try this time to save money. And I need to get a grip on my issues and stop stuffing them. I need help and I think I'm finally ready for it. I'm going to try and accept help when I know I need it.. That's not just my "new years resolution" thats for life. My grandmother has a gambling problem and I'm afraid this has turned into an addiction, or might turn into one if I don't fix it.

If there's anyone out there with the same problems and have any advice or encouragement... I could really use it.

thanks,

Squirrel