[ begin]
mood: wallowing in depression
song of the day: Rasputin by Bony M
Well, again i am in emotional hell. Its quite horrible actually. Dig it.
Two July;s ago, i dated my soulmate. We were in love with each other for 3 years ( we didn't know it) until it came out into the open. This guy was a perfect blend of nerd and hottie. You could take him to art museum, crack computer jokes, and whatever and he would enjoy it. We dated for about 2.5 months, and then of nowhere, he dumps me VIA EMAIL (those of you who knew me back then know this story). He refusesd to see me because i caused "an internal sway" and he would change his mind.
I was so depressed after that i was heavily medicated for about 2 months. Anyway, i come later to find out that he had to go to Iraq and
came to the conclusion that he didn't want to " keep me on a string" or something like that. ........ Now he is back.. I saw him last week, and man, after a year he STILL sets my blood on fire. I;ve tried to hate him- but have been unsuccessful.
The part that erks me the most is that the last time i saw him before last week was when i told him that i loved him (after sex) .... an poof! he's gone. He later told me that he loved me by email ( one reason i hate email).
After i saw him last week , i emailed him because i was going crazy.. this is the email:
Why can i not stop thinking of you? This is driving me fucking nuts. lol. I've tried to hate you and label you as a pig and a liar- but it doesn't really work, its doesn't help. (no i don't hate you). I'm just venting, you don't have to reply if you don't want to, and no
worries, i won't confess anything to you until i know your intentions lol ( i could never say this in person)
i have realized ( a semi-poetic moment perhaps) you are like a paper in the wind- i spend all the time trying to catch it, and i finally catch it briefly, even for a little bit, another gust comes and its gone again...but the entraptured feeling that i felt when i had it
keeps me after that paper...
Perhaps i am being too blunt or open or easy or whatever.... anyway, now he won't return my calls or answer his cell : mad :
Any advice would be helpful, i know that he loves me but i guess he is just scared. *shrugs*
mood: wallowing in depression
song of the day: Rasputin by Bony M
Well, again i am in emotional hell. Its quite horrible actually. Dig it.
Two July;s ago, i dated my soulmate. We were in love with each other for 3 years ( we didn't know it) until it came out into the open. This guy was a perfect blend of nerd and hottie. You could take him to art museum, crack computer jokes, and whatever and he would enjoy it. We dated for about 2.5 months, and then of nowhere, he dumps me VIA EMAIL (those of you who knew me back then know this story). He refusesd to see me because i caused "an internal sway" and he would change his mind.
I was so depressed after that i was heavily medicated for about 2 months. Anyway, i come later to find out that he had to go to Iraq and
came to the conclusion that he didn't want to " keep me on a string" or something like that. ........ Now he is back.. I saw him last week, and man, after a year he STILL sets my blood on fire. I;ve tried to hate him- but have been unsuccessful.
The part that erks me the most is that the last time i saw him before last week was when i told him that i loved him (after sex) .... an poof! he's gone. He later told me that he loved me by email ( one reason i hate email).
After i saw him last week , i emailed him because i was going crazy.. this is the email:
Why can i not stop thinking of you? This is driving me fucking nuts. lol. I've tried to hate you and label you as a pig and a liar- but it doesn't really work, its doesn't help. (no i don't hate you). I'm just venting, you don't have to reply if you don't want to, and no
worries, i won't confess anything to you until i know your intentions lol ( i could never say this in person)
i have realized ( a semi-poetic moment perhaps) you are like a paper in the wind- i spend all the time trying to catch it, and i finally catch it briefly, even for a little bit, another gust comes and its gone again...but the entraptured feeling that i felt when i had it
keeps me after that paper...
Perhaps i am being too blunt or open or easy or whatever.... anyway, now he won't return my calls or answer his cell : mad :
Any advice would be helpful, i know that he loves me but i guess he is just scared. *shrugs*
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You can find yourself a much better guy in St. Louis. Great city and it's got a lot of gamers (or at least it did when I lived there a few years back). Have a great time.