skorp

I feel sick to my stomach. Very sad. I don't like feeling fucking sad. I'm tougher than that. My mother just told me today that I am going with her and my step father tommorrow to a notary. He is going to sign over his rights to his daughter so if anything happens to my mother, my sister will go to me and not him. He is an addict. He's hid it for a long time but now its taken over completely. I've known for a about a year or more and I've just hated him but I have never beat the shit out of him or dragged him out of their house because my mother won't allow it. I respect my mother's wishes. I've never been upset or shed a tear for him, just cursed him for being weak and hated him for ruining his family's lives. He is out of chances to clean up. I only gave him one but he's screwed that up far too many times to even think of giving him another. My mother is a bit more generous. She is letting him sleep on the couch and only under the condition that he gives me all parental rights to his only child and finally quits for good. I don't see it lasting for more then a week but at least I know my sister will be safe if anything ever happens. I'd like to continue being angry because being sad feels a whole lot worse. I think I'm just out of steam.

I wrote this for me. Just to get it out. I'm hoping it helps.