skoosh

I hate soft water. Hate Hate Hate Hate soft water! How can I get rid of it? I don't care about the debate between hard and soft. I just want it gone. How the fuck do I do it? Google isn't helping. All the filters out there are to get rid of the hard water. Yeah well I want it hard!!!! I want the soap to rinse off and all the dirt and bacteria that should be going with it.... that is if it would ever fully rinse off. It's driving me nuts just thinking about it. I can't take it anymore. I don't feel clean after I shower, just slimy. Please, please I need your help.
What do I need to do to get rid of it? I will do anything. I will crawl through insulation naked if I have to. Just tell me how to make it go away!