I guess these are supposed to be daily blogs, but suicidegirls is quickly turning into my diary. My therapist (yes, I have a therapist) says I should keep a journal. Pretty sure this isn't what she meant. Ha!
Sooooooo am I crazy? A nut, psycho, insane? Or is my mind just "active"? Your choice.
I analyze everything. And when I'm done with that I make up scenarios (that will probably never happen) to analyze. I have little rest. My mind is always working. I've found a healthier way of dealing with life than cutting which I haven't done in two years. The answer is my dog. He's a little over two years and is my escape. Since my mind works overtime I just gave it him to analyze. I groom him everyday. No, he is not tortured. He gets the spa treatment and luuuuuuuvs it. He's the only dog I know that plops down to soak in a hot bath and nods off. When I wash his face he sticks his head out and rests it on my hand. I'm telling you he's a little cutie. I love pampering him. It gives me something happy to concentrate on. But recently, since my stress levels have gone up, I've found my cravings coming back.
I am the secretary. Watch this movie. It's great. She is me. Watching this movie helped everything make more sense. It was just a realization I'm not the only one. Maybe I'm not twisted. What's wrong with BDSM? Seriously. If done correctly......... hmmmmmmm
I was stressing this afternoon, and when I went to pour the salsa my hands were shaking. Fuck. Calm down, I thought. When you see your health deteriorating you start thinking about all of your physical problems. I just started adding them up. And what's new to the list: cysts on my left ovary. The doc doesn't think they're anything to be concerned about. We don't know what kind they are and I'm not going to be sliced open just to find out, "Oh shit. It's nothing. Sorry we cut you open." Frankly, at this point, they're the least of my worries.
My mind I can't lose and live. My ovary I can. I think I worry about the wrong things. Yep. Pretty sure. Seizure? Bloody nose? (yep today). Tremors? ECT? Naaaaa they don't make me all bent up inside. I'm more worried about how I'm looking when I pour beer. Yeah that's fucked up.
God damn I wish I had the Secretary to watch right now. Actually wait, I do have it....on this laptop. WOO HOO!!!!!! There is a god!!!!!! The only thing better than the Secretary is having the real thing.
Excuse me. I have a movie to watch and masturbation to perform.
Sooooooo am I crazy? A nut, psycho, insane? Or is my mind just "active"? Your choice.
I analyze everything. And when I'm done with that I make up scenarios (that will probably never happen) to analyze. I have little rest. My mind is always working. I've found a healthier way of dealing with life than cutting which I haven't done in two years. The answer is my dog. He's a little over two years and is my escape. Since my mind works overtime I just gave it him to analyze. I groom him everyday. No, he is not tortured. He gets the spa treatment and luuuuuuuvs it. He's the only dog I know that plops down to soak in a hot bath and nods off. When I wash his face he sticks his head out and rests it on my hand. I'm telling you he's a little cutie. I love pampering him. It gives me something happy to concentrate on. But recently, since my stress levels have gone up, I've found my cravings coming back.
I am the secretary. Watch this movie. It's great. She is me. Watching this movie helped everything make more sense. It was just a realization I'm not the only one. Maybe I'm not twisted. What's wrong with BDSM? Seriously. If done correctly......... hmmmmmmm
I was stressing this afternoon, and when I went to pour the salsa my hands were shaking. Fuck. Calm down, I thought. When you see your health deteriorating you start thinking about all of your physical problems. I just started adding them up. And what's new to the list: cysts on my left ovary. The doc doesn't think they're anything to be concerned about. We don't know what kind they are and I'm not going to be sliced open just to find out, "Oh shit. It's nothing. Sorry we cut you open." Frankly, at this point, they're the least of my worries.
My mind I can't lose and live. My ovary I can. I think I worry about the wrong things. Yep. Pretty sure. Seizure? Bloody nose? (yep today). Tremors? ECT? Naaaaa they don't make me all bent up inside. I'm more worried about how I'm looking when I pour beer. Yeah that's fucked up.
God damn I wish I had the Secretary to watch right now. Actually wait, I do have it....on this laptop. WOO HOO!!!!!! There is a god!!!!!! The only thing better than the Secretary is having the real thing.
Excuse me. I have a movie to watch and masturbation to perform.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
There'se your BDSM right there;-}
Pleasure meeting you on Sunday. In case you don't remember I was the guy hanging with Wit.
Um....when's sushi?