Tonight was a weird night. A close friend is visiting from Tennessee so we went to the improv and then to a bar. It was SO weird. Weird is the only word I can put to it right now. Mind you, I am still SOBER throughout all this so going to these places is still quite a challenge for me especially when everyone else is...
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Today is a new day....
zombie_nirbhao:
hooray for new days!
teyla:
But was it any good?
Well...It started yesterday...A peace I've never known before. A peace I've always searched for with xanax and pot and never found it. I took probably a thousand xanax and smoked who knows how much pot to find a peace like this and never got it. I never knew that being sober would take me to THIS kind of inner peace. If I would have known,...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
analog_robot:
Thanks for the advice. And it seems same to you.
The funny thing is I was straightedge for a very long time. Honestly, ever since I started drinking again, I've felt like that peice of my life was missing. It still doesn't seem quite the same...but I think it will.
As for not taking your Xanax...I was on adderall for years! I've been prescription free now for almost 8 years, and I've felt a thousand times better everyday since.
Good luck!
The funny thing is I was straightedge for a very long time. Honestly, ever since I started drinking again, I've felt like that peice of my life was missing. It still doesn't seem quite the same...but I think it will.
As for not taking your Xanax...I was on adderall for years! I've been prescription free now for almost 8 years, and I've felt a thousand times better everyday since.
Good luck!
antipunk:
I want to sound rude because your comment, however touched by the angel of god himself, seriously pissed me the fuck off. You obviously don't know who the fuck I am and despite your attempt to relate have never been here.
xanax pot...thats the shit the cops left in my car when I got arrested with a meth pipe. Yeah when 3 cops searched my car because I was passed out in a gas station I went to jail for an empty pipe (luckily I had shoved the coke up my ass while I was in the cop car) and my weed was left untouch and uncharged.
If you want to talk drugs, rehab, recovery, relapse and happiness I'll be pleased to fuck your little world up. I've been there done that, been there done that, been there done that, been there done that! Fuck I could walk YOU through the steps!!!
I've been in and out of AA,CA,NA and Rehab for years. Fuck I've had 163 days before!!!
You don't understand and apperently I failed to make it apparent when I mentioned I was smoking meth but I'm a REAL drug addict. Yeah a few pills here and a bowl there with the law saying your a bad little girl might convice you of hoplessness but when you suck a dick because you don't give a fuck, when you wonder who you have to fuck over to get some cash, when you wait at houses for people to leave, when you walk through parking lots checking doors, when you wake up fuckered up again in the gutter, when people are to scared to even look in your direction because your homeless, when your waiting for fast food joints to close to catch a "hot" meal out of the trash so you you can spend that $60 on a bag, when your friends attempt to murder you over a half oz. of coke, when you black out at the police station and wake up in the hospital after being arrested for a DWI, when you binge 14 days straight on meth & coke then drop 8 hits of LSD just to stay awake a couple more days to drink, when you spend 8 hours picking ever piece of dirt of the ground because it looks like a shard, when you just don't give a fuck about anything or anyone to the point that your friends and parents resort to calling hospitals and jails because no one can find you, when your having to do shit even though you don't want to because your throwing up with the sweats from withdrawl and finally, when you see your friend's head blown off right in front of you with a piece of brain stuck on your shirt and all you do is lean over to hand your dealer $40 so you can get your shit then you can fucking relate to me.
xanax & pot...yeah I'm talking heroine, meth, coke, shrooms, lsd, ketamine, extascy, nitrous, GHB, robo T, rush, mescaline, dramamine, 2C-i, ether, glue, morphine, opium, DMT, salvia, duster, nutmeg, alcohol, xanax & pot every night all day.
I've been "saved" before and more than once. Fuck! I've "saved' people before!
You don't have a fucking clue about this place I'm in. That darkness that once consumed me now is twisted, deformed and pumps like poision through me. I'm not hopeless and lost in the void, I AM the void.
Your feigned concerned and joyous words are meaningless. I've done the steps in order, all of them, with a sponsor, more than once.
This world is shit and if you drink and drug like me then you realize it.
Keep coming back.
xanax pot...thats the shit the cops left in my car when I got arrested with a meth pipe. Yeah when 3 cops searched my car because I was passed out in a gas station I went to jail for an empty pipe (luckily I had shoved the coke up my ass while I was in the cop car) and my weed was left untouch and uncharged.
If you want to talk drugs, rehab, recovery, relapse and happiness I'll be pleased to fuck your little world up. I've been there done that, been there done that, been there done that, been there done that! Fuck I could walk YOU through the steps!!!
I've been in and out of AA,CA,NA and Rehab for years. Fuck I've had 163 days before!!!
You don't understand and apperently I failed to make it apparent when I mentioned I was smoking meth but I'm a REAL drug addict. Yeah a few pills here and a bowl there with the law saying your a bad little girl might convice you of hoplessness but when you suck a dick because you don't give a fuck, when you wonder who you have to fuck over to get some cash, when you wait at houses for people to leave, when you walk through parking lots checking doors, when you wake up fuckered up again in the gutter, when people are to scared to even look in your direction because your homeless, when your waiting for fast food joints to close to catch a "hot" meal out of the trash so you you can spend that $60 on a bag, when your friends attempt to murder you over a half oz. of coke, when you black out at the police station and wake up in the hospital after being arrested for a DWI, when you binge 14 days straight on meth & coke then drop 8 hits of LSD just to stay awake a couple more days to drink, when you spend 8 hours picking ever piece of dirt of the ground because it looks like a shard, when you just don't give a fuck about anything or anyone to the point that your friends and parents resort to calling hospitals and jails because no one can find you, when your having to do shit even though you don't want to because your throwing up with the sweats from withdrawl and finally, when you see your friend's head blown off right in front of you with a piece of brain stuck on your shirt and all you do is lean over to hand your dealer $40 so you can get your shit then you can fucking relate to me.
xanax & pot...yeah I'm talking heroine, meth, coke, shrooms, lsd, ketamine, extascy, nitrous, GHB, robo T, rush, mescaline, dramamine, 2C-i, ether, glue, morphine, opium, DMT, salvia, duster, nutmeg, alcohol, xanax & pot every night all day.
I've been "saved" before and more than once. Fuck! I've "saved' people before!
You don't have a fucking clue about this place I'm in. That darkness that once consumed me now is twisted, deformed and pumps like poision through me. I'm not hopeless and lost in the void, I AM the void.
Your feigned concerned and joyous words are meaningless. I've done the steps in order, all of them, with a sponsor, more than once.
This world is shit and if you drink and drug like me then you realize it.
Keep coming back.
This day is a great day to be alive! Now that I am clear headed and rid of all the shit in my life that almost ruined it, I can do what I want, when I want, where I want, anytime I want. Really. It's all up to me now what I do with my life and that is a GREAT feeling. For once in...
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big_boy:
Does this mean more PICS 
I've been sleeping all day long....boring I know. But that's the truth. A typical Sunday for me.
ricky_rose:
Those are the best type of Sundays.
jprooies:
Love a lazy sunday!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the add.
Thanks for the add.
So the afternoon and evening has been filled with FUN and pure PLEASURE....To make a long story short and you just want to see the end product any way...See the new pics posted. I think you will enjoy!
onesandzeros:
Lol you make it sound like I have a reputation
Nice to meet you, I'm Dave btw.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dave btw.
Yep! It's early for me to be up but, I woke up with "a song in my heart, mouth full of rhyme" as one of the Dead Twins songs says. No really, I woke up with many things on my mind today. Like damn my head hurts, damn my body is sore from working out, damn my mind is racing with thoughts! So I just...
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lilandra:
Thank you hun, it feels so sogood to have got it over with i was so so worried, but feel really positive now.
I know what you mean aout the changes in personality, im about 3 different people i swap between them constantly depening on the situation and how i feel, i can be criplingly shy or really outgoing, sometimes in the same day!
but im all set for the next week now!!!
I know what you mean aout the changes in personality, im about 3 different people i swap between them constantly depening on the situation and how i feel, i can be criplingly shy or really outgoing, sometimes in the same day!
but im all set for the next week now!!!
voss:
it can feel so overwhelming when you feel like youre constantly "in change" I've been going through that for a few months. If you need to talk or vent or anything, just PM me.
Hope your day's events were enjoyable! Sometime you just have to regroup with some close friends to make things feel better
Hope your day's events were enjoyable! Sometime you just have to regroup with some close friends to make things feel better
Yep! I changed my name to SkizzyK! I feel that this is my alter ego anyway. I can do anything I want, do naughty things and write anything I want without any qualms about it. I feel like I can hide behind her. She exudes confidence and courage and takes no bullshit from anyone. Especially the NO BULLSHIT! I made this name up when I...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
texaspsych:
As long as you are having fun and aren't hurting anybody then have fun.
I am glad to hear that you had fun lastnight. I wish I was having fun. I haven't had much fun lately.
OK Honey have a wonderful day. 
I am glad to hear that you had fun lastnight. I wish I was having fun. I haven't had much fun lately.
OK Honey have a wonderful day.
hitch55:
Sounds interesting, keep us posted on your antics, lol
JUST RELAX! OK! JUST RELAX! Everybody!. Everything is OK!
texaspsych:
OK I am relaxing. I feel better.
Oh yeah and the really good looking female friend isn't my type. She is to much work. Likes for her life to be super stressful, and I am not even close to being that kind of person.
Ok beautiful have a wonderful night. Hope it is as fun as lastnight sounds or almost sounds.
OK I am relaxing. I feel better.
Oh yeah and the really good looking female friend isn't my type. She is to much work. Likes for her life to be super stressful, and I am not even close to being that kind of person.
Ok beautiful have a wonderful night. Hope it is as fun as lastnight sounds or almost sounds.
Come here quickly my darling little sweetie!
veeyenenwhy:
Wow. That was delightfully ambiguous! 
hitch55:
So im guessing you and a friend of yours did something naughty when you werent supposed to?
if your desire is to maintain your sobriety then you CAN stay sober! you have thus far.
...and remember:
"Drugs are bad! Mmkay?"