Soooo....Today's Character Defect: Hurtful Today's Opposite: Again...Happiness
I don't think I need to explain this one. I tend to be hurtful at times and I regret that. I was definitely hurtful during my active addiction that's very true. I probably hurt everyone around me during that time. I lost important relationships to me. But, now that they're lost...I don't REALLY miss them. The relationships I'm speaking of were hurtful to me and those people were hateful and I don't really think they deserve my friendship now. So no real loss to me now. I may have to make amends to them in my ninth step but I hope the hell not. I see my part as an addict in the relationship but they were wrong too. They were definitely hateful and hurtful to me. But, I guess that's not the point here. Is it? I just have to see my part and make amends. It's really for that and my growth. And as far as today goes about hurtful...I do still see my part in that. I just hurt my husband for being brutally honest with him but I really needed to be. I was totally mind fucking myself by not being honest. I had to be honest with him and it hurt him like hell. I didn't want to hurt him but, it did and in return it hurt me like hell. So today, I practiced happiness again. That came easily. I went to the doctor to get my sutures removed. Yay! Thank fucking god! They were itching like crazy. So those are gone. Whew! Happiness there. Then I went to aftercare with my rehab friends that's always good. We learn new things about relapse prevention and things about how to stay sober. It's always a new learning experience. It's sponsored by our rehab every Monday night. I try not to miss because alot of my rehab friends go and we're close and I like to see them every week. Then afterwards, we always go out to eat and sometimes bowling. Tonight, we just went out to eat at The Outback. It was great company, food, and conversation. Happiness! It was with two of my very closest friends and their support family members. Good people. I care very deeply about all of them. I couldn't and wouldn't do this without them. I wouldn't have it any other way. I love having them by my side....cheering me on...and I by their side supporting them. We are there for each other every step of the way. It's great to have friends that have walked through the same shit and can relate to what I'm going through. The same obsessios, same kind of using dreams...all of it. It's just nice to talk to someone who cares and understands the same old addict ways. It's unparalled to anything else. I mean I have my sponsor and all and that's unparalleled also but these friends...we went through rehab together. We went through it all. We are lifetime friends. We love each other like no other. It's nice to have that. It's familiar and warm. I love it.
Till tomorrow...What will the next one be?
I don't think I need to explain this one. I tend to be hurtful at times and I regret that. I was definitely hurtful during my active addiction that's very true. I probably hurt everyone around me during that time. I lost important relationships to me. But, now that they're lost...I don't REALLY miss them. The relationships I'm speaking of were hurtful to me and those people were hateful and I don't really think they deserve my friendship now. So no real loss to me now. I may have to make amends to them in my ninth step but I hope the hell not. I see my part as an addict in the relationship but they were wrong too. They were definitely hateful and hurtful to me. But, I guess that's not the point here. Is it? I just have to see my part and make amends. It's really for that and my growth. And as far as today goes about hurtful...I do still see my part in that. I just hurt my husband for being brutally honest with him but I really needed to be. I was totally mind fucking myself by not being honest. I had to be honest with him and it hurt him like hell. I didn't want to hurt him but, it did and in return it hurt me like hell. So today, I practiced happiness again. That came easily. I went to the doctor to get my sutures removed. Yay! Thank fucking god! They were itching like crazy. So those are gone. Whew! Happiness there. Then I went to aftercare with my rehab friends that's always good. We learn new things about relapse prevention and things about how to stay sober. It's always a new learning experience. It's sponsored by our rehab every Monday night. I try not to miss because alot of my rehab friends go and we're close and I like to see them every week. Then afterwards, we always go out to eat and sometimes bowling. Tonight, we just went out to eat at The Outback. It was great company, food, and conversation. Happiness! It was with two of my very closest friends and their support family members. Good people. I care very deeply about all of them. I couldn't and wouldn't do this without them. I wouldn't have it any other way. I love having them by my side....cheering me on...and I by their side supporting them. We are there for each other every step of the way. It's great to have friends that have walked through the same shit and can relate to what I'm going through. The same obsessios, same kind of using dreams...all of it. It's just nice to talk to someone who cares and understands the same old addict ways. It's unparalled to anything else. I mean I have my sponsor and all and that's unparalleled also but these friends...we went through rehab together. We went through it all. We are lifetime friends. We love each other like no other. It's nice to have that. It's familiar and warm. I love it.
Till tomorrow...What will the next one be?
squareroot:
Hey, congrats on getting those sutures out!!
zombie_nirbhao:
keep smiling