Well...It started yesterday...A peace I've never known before. A peace I've always searched for with xanax and pot and never found it. I took probably a thousand xanax and smoked who knows how much pot to find a peace like this and never got it. I never knew that being sober would take me to THIS kind of inner peace. If I would have known, I would have become sober along time ago. Why didn't anyone tell me? Why did I listen to the idiots who told me that pot would chill me out. And why, oh why, did I listen to the docs who told me to take that first xanax to help me be less anxious? Before, I would always feel like I was shaking inside. Like I was on constant vibrate mode. I felt like I was a buzzing bee. Now all that has stopped. It feels like when you are just about to fall off to sleep. It's that kind of peacefulness. It's from deep within my soul. It's the greatest thing I've ever felt. I don't think I've EVER felt this before in my life. Not even when I was little. When I was growing up, I was always worried about something. There was always something going on in my life. There was always drama. So this new found peace is super-d-duper fantastic! I absolutely LOVE IT and I'm NEVER going back to that SHIT! 
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The funny thing is I was straightedge for a very long time. Honestly, ever since I started drinking again, I've felt like that peice of my life was missing. It still doesn't seem quite the same...but I think it will.
As for not taking your Xanax...I was on adderall for years! I've been prescription free now for almost 8 years, and I've felt a thousand times better everyday since.
Good luck!
xanax pot...thats the shit the cops left in my car when I got arrested with a meth pipe. Yeah when 3 cops searched my car because I was passed out in a gas station I went to jail for an empty pipe (luckily I had shoved the coke up my ass while I was in the cop car) and my weed was left untouch and uncharged.
If you want to talk drugs, rehab, recovery, relapse and happiness I'll be pleased to fuck your little world up. I've been there done that, been there done that, been there done that, been there done that! Fuck I could walk YOU through the steps!!!
I've been in and out of AA,CA,NA and Rehab for years. Fuck I've had 163 days before!!!
You don't understand and apperently I failed to make it apparent when I mentioned I was smoking meth but I'm a REAL drug addict. Yeah a few pills here and a bowl there with the law saying your a bad little girl might convice you of hoplessness but when you suck a dick because you don't give a fuck, when you wonder who you have to fuck over to get some cash, when you wait at houses for people to leave, when you walk through parking lots checking doors, when you wake up fuckered up again in the gutter, when people are to scared to even look in your direction because your homeless, when your waiting for fast food joints to close to catch a "hot" meal out of the trash so you you can spend that $60 on a bag, when your friends attempt to murder you over a half oz. of coke, when you black out at the police station and wake up in the hospital after being arrested for a DWI, when you binge 14 days straight on meth & coke then drop 8 hits of LSD just to stay awake a couple more days to drink, when you spend 8 hours picking ever piece of dirt of the ground because it looks like a shard, when you just don't give a fuck about anything or anyone to the point that your friends and parents resort to calling hospitals and jails because no one can find you, when your having to do shit even though you don't want to because your throwing up with the sweats from withdrawl and finally, when you see your friend's head blown off right in front of you with a piece of brain stuck on your shirt and all you do is lean over to hand your dealer $40 so you can get your shit then you can fucking relate to me.
xanax & pot...yeah I'm talking heroine, meth, coke, shrooms, lsd, ketamine, extascy, nitrous, GHB, robo T, rush, mescaline, dramamine, 2C-i, ether, glue, morphine, opium, DMT, salvia, duster, nutmeg, alcohol, xanax & pot every night all day.
I've been "saved" before and more than once. Fuck! I've "saved' people before!
You don't have a fucking clue about this place I'm in. That darkness that once consumed me now is twisted, deformed and pumps like poision through me. I'm not hopeless and lost in the void, I AM the void.
Your feigned concerned and joyous words are meaningless. I've done the steps in order, all of them, with a sponsor, more than once.
This world is shit and if you drink and drug like me then you realize it.
Keep coming back.