This day is a great day to be alive! Now that I am clear headed and rid of all the shit in my life that almost ruined it, I can do what I want, when I want, where I want, anytime I want. Really. It's all up to me now what I do with my life and that is a GREAT feeling. For once in my life I am not defined by mind altering substances. That in itself is freeing. That is the first time I've really said it out loud and it felt absolutely WONDERFUL. I must say it more often. Hmmmm...You migt say how can this be the FIRST time in my life that it is not defined by mind altering subtances. Well...My whole life has been surrounded with the shit. EVERY ONE around me used and abused. Including my mom and dad. They still use and abuse. It's really a sad story and I must not dwell on it. After all, it's their life. Not mine. I have my own problems to worry about without having to worry about them too. Now I have a brand new project to work on. My brand new sober life! Yep! I finally said it...SOBER! I've been beating around the bush but, that's what I've been getting to. I'm sure you kinda caught on by now. Right? I'm still the same fun-loving girl but, without the alcohol AND mind altering substances.
In fact, my life can be what ever I want it to be now. I'm a blank slate. I've left all the junk behind me. That's the past. I'm a new person. A sober person. I don't know this person as I've been a doped up drunk person for 15 years and that person didn't feel, didn't sleep, didn't eat, didn't drive her car without wrecking it, and surely wasn't honest with anyone or herself. This new person has an overwhemling amount of emotions swarming in all over at once and I don't know what to do with them. Yeah, sure I can be a new person. But, how? How do I do that? I don't know how to do it? I have to learn all over again. I've re-invented myself before when I was 18 but, that was easy. I turned myself into that outgoing party girl that was the doped up drunk that we all knew and loved for 15 years. But, she's gone now for good. Never to return. Can someone point me in the right direction to being this new person? A good, upstanding, sober productive member of society is what I want to be. Nothing fancy. Yes, I want all the other stuff to. I want my general stuff to that will eventually come out like my personality. I will be fun, outgoing, funny, goofy, and a good friend, wife, daughter and sister. I will love myself.
Well, there it is guys and gals...If anyone has any constuctive criticism, send it my way. I would love to here it.
In fact, my life can be what ever I want it to be now. I'm a blank slate. I've left all the junk behind me. That's the past. I'm a new person. A sober person. I don't know this person as I've been a doped up drunk person for 15 years and that person didn't feel, didn't sleep, didn't eat, didn't drive her car without wrecking it, and surely wasn't honest with anyone or herself. This new person has an overwhemling amount of emotions swarming in all over at once and I don't know what to do with them. Yeah, sure I can be a new person. But, how? How do I do that? I don't know how to do it? I have to learn all over again. I've re-invented myself before when I was 18 but, that was easy. I turned myself into that outgoing party girl that was the doped up drunk that we all knew and loved for 15 years. But, she's gone now for good. Never to return. Can someone point me in the right direction to being this new person? A good, upstanding, sober productive member of society is what I want to be. Nothing fancy. Yes, I want all the other stuff to. I want my general stuff to that will eventually come out like my personality. I will be fun, outgoing, funny, goofy, and a good friend, wife, daughter and sister. I will love myself.
Well, there it is guys and gals...If anyone has any constuctive criticism, send it my way. I would love to here it.
big_boy:
Does this mean more PICS 
snarky:
