skizzyk

Yep! It's early for me to be up but, I woke up with "a song in my heart, mouth full of rhyme" as one of the Dead Twins songs says. No really, I woke up with many things on my mind today. Like damn my head hurts, damn my body is sore from working out, damn my mind is racing with thoughts! So I just decided to get up and start my day a little early today. This cantelope is good! I've eaten like half of it already. YUMMY! I love cold cantelope in the morning. It's one of my favorite breakfasts. Back on track now. My mind is racing with thoughts of how my life is changing, how my life has changed since I've been on this site, how I feel I'm stuck in a rut, how I feel out of control at some points, and how I have disregard for anyone else that may get in my way on my quest to change how I feel, act, and think. I mean really those are all pretty big things to contemplate. At lest for me, it is...considering the changes I've been through in just the lst couple of weeks. I don't even feel like I'm the same person that I was a couple of weeks ago. My life is constantly changing and I guess everyone can say that too. But, for me it's almost like I'm a another person sometimes. Like for instance, take the scren name change to SkizzyK. I said I changed my name to SkizzyK so that I could become her. Well, the thing is I'd aleady had already become that person. I just needed to put the name to her. I had already created her earlier this year and knew what she was like. I just "switched" back to her again. I have many different personalities that I "switch" to. I have a 19-20 y/o that is completely outgoing, completely confident, the life-of-the party, likes to party, dance, where sexy clothing, pick up guys, go to clubs and stay out to all hours of the night, do recreational drugs and be reckless without the thought of consquences and seems to never get into trouble...Thank God! I was that person for a good 7-8 years. And I feel her coming back too. A small piece of her is there. She wants to go clubbing and dancing and finds herself wanting the recreational drugs. The occassional meaningless flirting wouldn't be bad either. At least the drinks would be free. HEEEEEYYYY! But, we all know that this girl can't come out completely. My husband would just not approve. We're supposed to be "settled down" now. We're married, have a house, three dogs. We should have moved on from that kind of life. But, I can't help wanting to go back to it just for a little bit. Not every weekend or anything...Just occassionaly. In moderation.

Well there's a little bit of what is going on in my little feabile mind this morning...I won't bore you with any more details...but if you want to know more...just let me know...and I'll oblige you more about "switching" to different personalites. It's quite weird and something I'm just discovering about myself. I've already told you I was CRAZY. Now you know it's TRUE!

Have a good day! I know I will...Day is filled with lunch with a girl friend and drinks and dinner with a close guy friend. Fun! Fun! Fun!