skeeve

Well I was told I should probably update, and to be honest I was kinda thinking about it a lot recently too.
Problem is I don't really have all that much to blog about.

Life has settled into a pretty repetitive routine. Which I suppose isn't the worst thing ever because all things considered I'm pretty happy.

I enjoy my job a lot. I love the freedom it gives me to just fuck around. I love the environment of the office. I love the guys I work with. All in all I really would be hard pressed to find anything negative to say about it. And believe me, I realize how unbelievably lucky I am to have this.

I'd like to thank a few people who will remain anonymous. I'm not going to name names because if you're important to me you'd damn well better know it. I say it often enough. ;p And quite frankly I feel like gushing about any of you in specific in public cheapens my emotions somehow. Like I'd only be shouting your praises so other people could know how much I care for you. For me it's much more personal and I couldn't give a damn who else knew. If you know, and I know, that's all that matters. (Yes, all those "you"s apply to more than one person.)

Now people usually just say "I'd like to thank . . ." and make that their speech. That's just stating your intention to thank. You gotta follow through people!
Some of these I have only one person in mind. Some of them I have several.

• I thank you for always improving my mood, whatever state it might be in, with what I'm sure are very "small" things. It's not the specific actions, it's not the way you do what you do, it's what your intentions are. If you truly want to make me smile, the stupidest joke that everybody's heard a thousand times will have me rolling on the floor. If you truly care, a simple "Hello" will have me blushing into a puddle.
• I thank you for awakening feelings in me that I didn't know were possible. As much as the longing can hurt, knowing that I can't have you, I wouldn't trade it for the world. It makes me feel alive. You make me feel alive. And when I allow myself to believe that it's reciprocated (which is less than I'd like, I'm working on it) I can't even begin to describe how wonderful I feel. You make me feel, if only briefly, like the best man on the planet.

I realize that's pretty shitty use of bullets and I stopped myself from saying half the things I feel because really nobody needs to hear all that.

Well, I don't know how cogent this entry has been. I'm a little exhausted and I'm more interested in devoting my brain to thinking about you unnamed people that touch my life so than writing about it.

I suppose that's all for now.
My heart is very full these days.