So as many of you know, i took a road trip to visit my Mercie. Heres the story of how it happened. I figured i'd write it down for posterity.
So on sunday at about 3pm, i had about 8 kids in my room that had slept over after a party on saturday. We were all talking and eating and we were on skype with mercie. Some how we got on the topic of the distance between Baltimore (mercie) and NYC (me). Afer mapquesting it i turn to my buddy adam and say, 'How do you feel about a road trip to baltimore?'. Of course adam is down for the drive and after a few minutes of working out the logistics of money and such, me adam and ruben pile into Adams renal Kia and start the 3 hour and 18 minute drive. We left at about...5 or 6 pm.
Some things i should add to make the rest of this story make better sense. Me, adam and ruben are known as 'the boys' or 'those guys' among our small family of friends. This is because we have an intense bromance connection. We stare at girls, have codes and do everything south of touching dicks to show our bromance.
We stop for gas in jersey and ruben gets out to pee. I heckle him for touching jersey ground and he slaps me across the head. AWESOME. NOW IM INFECTED WITH JERSEY. great. 20$ in gas later and after a few cracks at the gas station attendant and various hot girls we saw while there, we were back on the road.
Thats us just getting into jersey after gas.
About 20 minutes later, i have to pee. I have the bladder of a mouse and I had already had 4 beers since left my house. I think about a cup, but decide its just too hard...so we pull over and i brave the jersey soil and air in order to relieve myself. On my way back i steal some twig attached to some berries so i can make a dick joke back at the car. When i get back to it, the window is down, the guys are laughing and theyre filming me....this does no bode well. I grab the handle and as soon i feel its locked, i dive into the window. As soon as my feet leave the ground, adam guns it and im left hanging half out the window as he accelerates back into traffic. An hour later, i have to pee again (3 more beers down), so i kneel on the floor and pee into a mcdonalds cup. its full to the bring so i throw it out the window and it crashes and explodes. like a piss cloud about 8 feet tall erupts behind it.
There was a pretty long boring stretch of time. We gave out 1-10 rankings of girls in other cars, rocked out to nostalgic music (slipknot being one of the rediculous bands we listened to...) and chain smoked. i pissed in That was until just after deleware.
We hit some traffic. bad traffic. so ruben breaks out his phone and goes to youtube. We blast the speakers and watch the following videos:
[YOUTUBE]www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yavx9yxTrsw[/YOUTUBE]
During those videos i filled up ANOTHER mcdonalds cup and poured it out
and then filled it AGAIN in the same round and when i poured it out the last time, i wasnt paying attention....it kind of sprayed all over the car behind us...oops....
Traffic is over and we realize Mercie lives in a dry county (no beer after 9 among other things) so we rush off the exit to ask for a liqour store. the gas station sends us to a liqour store thats closed, the pizza guys next door lead us to a 7-11 that sells alcohol. We have 3 mintues to go about 5 miles so adam books it. we make it in time and start driving.
We finally arrive at Mercies..an hour late...but we got there. This concludes part 1 of this. part 2 later tonight or tomorrow.
So on sunday at about 3pm, i had about 8 kids in my room that had slept over after a party on saturday. We were all talking and eating and we were on skype with mercie. Some how we got on the topic of the distance between Baltimore (mercie) and NYC (me). Afer mapquesting it i turn to my buddy adam and say, 'How do you feel about a road trip to baltimore?'. Of course adam is down for the drive and after a few minutes of working out the logistics of money and such, me adam and ruben pile into Adams renal Kia and start the 3 hour and 18 minute drive. We left at about...5 or 6 pm.
Some things i should add to make the rest of this story make better sense. Me, adam and ruben are known as 'the boys' or 'those guys' among our small family of friends. This is because we have an intense bromance connection. We stare at girls, have codes and do everything south of touching dicks to show our bromance.
We stop for gas in jersey and ruben gets out to pee. I heckle him for touching jersey ground and he slaps me across the head. AWESOME. NOW IM INFECTED WITH JERSEY. great. 20$ in gas later and after a few cracks at the gas station attendant and various hot girls we saw while there, we were back on the road.
Thats us just getting into jersey after gas.
About 20 minutes later, i have to pee. I have the bladder of a mouse and I had already had 4 beers since left my house. I think about a cup, but decide its just too hard...so we pull over and i brave the jersey soil and air in order to relieve myself. On my way back i steal some twig attached to some berries so i can make a dick joke back at the car. When i get back to it, the window is down, the guys are laughing and theyre filming me....this does no bode well. I grab the handle and as soon i feel its locked, i dive into the window. As soon as my feet leave the ground, adam guns it and im left hanging half out the window as he accelerates back into traffic. An hour later, i have to pee again (3 more beers down), so i kneel on the floor and pee into a mcdonalds cup. its full to the bring so i throw it out the window and it crashes and explodes. like a piss cloud about 8 feet tall erupts behind it.
There was a pretty long boring stretch of time. We gave out 1-10 rankings of girls in other cars, rocked out to nostalgic music (slipknot being one of the rediculous bands we listened to...) and chain smoked. i pissed in That was until just after deleware.
We hit some traffic. bad traffic. so ruben breaks out his phone and goes to youtube. We blast the speakers and watch the following videos:
[YOUTUBE]www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yavx9yxTrsw[/YOUTUBE]
During those videos i filled up ANOTHER mcdonalds cup and poured it out
and then filled it AGAIN in the same round and when i poured it out the last time, i wasnt paying attention....it kind of sprayed all over the car behind us...oops....
Traffic is over and we realize Mercie lives in a dry county (no beer after 9 among other things) so we rush off the exit to ask for a liqour store. the gas station sends us to a liqour store thats closed, the pizza guys next door lead us to a 7-11 that sells alcohol. We have 3 mintues to go about 5 miles so adam books it. we make it in time and start driving.
We finally arrive at Mercies..an hour late...but we got there. This concludes part 1 of this. part 2 later tonight or tomorrow.
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