sjofn_

I need to quit smoking,but how do you do that, when something new comes along and I feel like I need to smoke? there seems to be always something , crises after crises double fucking crises, man will it ever stop!!! I want it the way it use to be, quiet, peaceful... I don't think it will.

I was suppose to see a friend today who went to jail but is on work release, I was going to stop at his work with another one of his friends. But his friend never called me, what a big surprise, all night this guy was up my ass saying that I needed to go vist him at his work .... So we make arrangments and the guy does it show up, I even made jokes like " you sure you going to remember" and he looked at me like I was nuts.

oh well

My income is slowly reaching zero, what am I to think I have it worked in 2 months and I have a little daughter to take care of and my meds cost me $800 dollars a month plus rent and every day stuff!!!! I'm fucked....
i'm so screwed. there are no good options. i knew it could happen, but i was hoping. i thought i had it figured out. the choices i have are all unacceptable to me, A friend made a comment about selling myself on the streets LOL yeah shut up that's not funny......I'm down on my luck but I'm not desprate!!

If I had a man I could atleast have him help me out, but no actually I don't and I wouldn't ask that of him.....
So if I don't start working soon, I will starve and then I wouldn't be able to afford my meds and then I would just get so sick .... sigh, and let's not talk about the whole welfare system which (god I can't belive I signed up for) not because it a bad thing I just never needed help it's more of a pride thing...

but anyway They can give me $350 dollars a month....mmmm yea becasue my rents $450 and like I said my meds are $800 oh food stamps $250 a month lol yeah here's to the fucking goverment.

I know I have this Job that I should get hired from but what till then, my family won't help, bc we have to make our own in life which is fine which everyone should but the economy really bad right now......

okay I"m done on that topic sigh sorry
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As the Sage words of Buddha say " you will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger" These really are great words too live by and always try to remember them...lol I'm trying I'm trying

my nose keeps running, and it's annoying damit I'm so cranky



I did this pic in the whole old polaroid thing awsone....lol

here's another craig note hee-hee I love it


I think I'm going to crawl back to bed and hide.....I want to be in a better mood