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Did you know that every night I go to bed with so many promises to myself that tomorrow will be better? These words are only spoken in my head, I never say them out loud. Maybe because I know that it's just going to be a disappointment, to awake and nothing new has changed.

I'm empty inside today, what the hell I'm empty every day.........
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gunch:
Guess I'll have to teach them how to do the Time Warp correctly. smile
jaxy:
hugs.
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pawko4b:
Never hurts to try smile
razzle_dazzle:
Hiya, I'm okay, I think I'm doing better slowly. I've gone the whole week without sleeping pills which is great. I'm feeling alot more alert and together. Just need a job now to give me something to do.
How are you doing?
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I wore a dress that I got for $5 dollars , at a department store, it was green with purple flowers short but flowing. It snuggled tight against my rib cage making it hard to breath. It was sorta of a nice dress, though I wore my black chucks that the once white shoe laces were now grey and stained.

I stood outside of the...
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nobodyhere:
But would they really learn anything if it was you who fixed their problems not themselves?
grayb:
I know what you mean and how you feel. I understand all too well.

All that you can ever really do is to endevour to be the very best person that you can. Any and all change most always come from within. Love them. Most importantly, love yourself. I wish everyone well... epecially you.
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pawko4b:
See I knew you needed it. That's why I sent it to ya wink. See I'm on it and for you my friend if I can I always will be.
mattgarvin:
Wow. That's intense looking.
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This is only my side of the story.. I know that its only a side that has all my opinions and no one else s I know that. I would really like to get advice, I've been moving along in a haze for about 3 weeks now. Stressing and not making right choices.

Last night I cut off everyone, I found my limit and I...
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nobodyhere:
I think maybe you made the right choice. Even if it hurts now. But you need to make this point, that you have been there, the constant in their life, when they have'nt done the same for you. Let them feel how much it hurts.
This may only be your side of the story, but i don't want to hear theirs.
Good luck.
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coffeelove:
In the end experiencing those things, as bad as they might be, makes you a better and stronger person. And probably makes you a hell lot more interesting than those other people in your town..

But hey, maybe the cows do need a beating once in a while? lol
grayb:
I've been trying to think of something appropriate to say. Trying to find to proper words to convey
how much I love and appreciate you humor and intelligence, your courage, honesty and bravery. I want to tell you how glad I am that you have survived all of your previous adversity, and convey my sincere hope that you will triumph over all of the forces that are working against you now.

Well, I guess that will do for now...

Take good care of yourself and
watch out for those damn cows.
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I got taco bell, there's something crunchy in my burrito , I don't know what it is I"m not eating it ... gross

Have nothing planed tonight but to go out to the bar... sigh do I really want to ?

I'm sleepy
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nobodyhere:
Well, they have stuff at the bar that might take the taste away.
On second thoughts though, it could make you feel a whole lot worse.
grayb:
I hate finding "surprises" in my food. I don't need the extra protein.

So,did you go out - or stay in and relax? I know which one I hope you did...
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pawko4b:
kids are crazy lil creatures
grayb:
Six little girls and a hot mom camping in the woods. Wasn't there a horror film that started out something like that? Well, maybe not...

Thanks for the art and the deep thoughts.
I hope that your headache gets better.
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What a little word... it has had various meanings applied to it. In Freud's system, the ego is the conscious aspect of the psyche that chooses between the base instincts of the id and the morality of the super ego. A person with an "ego problem" is considered to be centered on the self. He is thought of as boastful, self'centered person. It's usually male...
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grayb:
I wish that some people would keeps theirs a bit more under control or at least under wraps smile People need to get along better, and to care more about the needs of others.

I know - that's referencing only one, narrow, definition. What you've written is most interesting - I'm looking forward to more.

I hope that you are feeling better. You are very brave and strong to be dealing with all that is going on.

grayb:
I don't know what's going on with this "Summer flu" or whatever it is that seems to be going around. I'm starting to feel like I'm getting it again. Damn.

Best wishes...
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ilyaxous:
Thanks for the blog, I had not heard of Andrew Foster before... He reminds me of Lisa Yuskavage, at least in style (and she's one of my favourites)
gunch:

- My friend Giles Has been telling other friends that I'm dying and I need money for meds , so they've given him money and he's spent it on crack. (huh)



Wow. You need some new friends, stat! LoL

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I had my bags pack and I was ready to run away to the city. I said good bye to my friends and gave a key to my one friend who was going to live in my apartment. This was a choice I made yesterday early morning and today I was planning on following threw with it.

But then:

My best friend got to me...
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grayb:
Even with my current life, which one would assume should be unendingly pleasant and problem free, I often find myself wanting to get away from it all. There's too much drama and nonsense involved in everyday existence lately.

I can imagine how you feel - you're dealing with some serious pain and major issues.

We're all familiar with the Nietzsche quote "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." - but sometimes I'd be more than willing to settle for a little bit weaker and a wee bit easier.

I admire and agree with you decision to stay and deal with everything and everyone. Try and get away from it all for at least a little while though. Even if it's just basking in the sunshine on a sunny Spring day or taking a brief solitary stroll.

Don't worry about what others may think. Just do what you honestly think and feel is the right thing. Hopefully others will learn from your example.

Best wishes...
grayb:
Hey - it's been a couple of days. I hope that you are okay. I've been missing you and thinking about you smile
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gunch:
Well, you don't have to be patient about dealing with him. If he isn't going to be respectful, move on. I know it isn't as easy as I am making it out to be, but it's probably easier than waiting for him to get in line. I am more speaking of; he is going to make his own bed to lie in, as they say.
I am sure many will agree with me here, you are a intelligent, beautiful, and wonderful person. Don't waste your time on "fuckernauts and astrobastards." wink
grayb:
I know that it's a total clich, but
I feel your pain.

I hope that those around you begin to give you the love, respect and consideration that you deserve and to which you are entitled.