"You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it."
~J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
I have a hard time keeping eye contact with people most days. The reason for that I suspect, is because I don't want them to see. To see me holding all of my emotions unable to let them go. To see the pain, loss and loneliness that I am so desperate to hide. Sometimes my own, sometimes for others. But, those feelings are irrational. There is no reason for them. Yet they are still there. And they continue to feed my insecurities. Telling me that because I feel these things, everyone will leave eventually. Because I feel too much. Therefore I cannot show them. I must hid them. Every day. So I continue shove them down until I don't feel any more. At least... that's what I tell myself.
