sixothree

i've had a lonely sort of day. nate was gone at noon for 6 hours playing on his 4-wheeler. during which time i took a nice 2-hour nap, caught up on ANTM episodes that i missed, and waited around for a bit, doing nothing. then when he got home i was just leaving for a bike ride, because i was itching to do something. afterward, i cooked dinner, we ate dinner, and he fell promptly asleep in his recliner. sometimes that sickens me, because it's just what my dad used to do. so i've been alone pretty much all day, save for a few choice hours where we brought the dog to the beach to run like a freak, and when we ate dinner and he said it was delicious, even though it was boring. my dog likes to pee on people's belongings that they leave by their towels. jackass.

i feel so trapped lately, living here, and i'm letting it spill over into everything. i hate our small apartment, and it's making me resent all the things i can't do that i could be doing if we were in a house... with a yard... and things to take care of. i hate wasting money on rent when it could be going toward something to own. something that might make me feel more useful.

maybe i should stop spending so much time alone, i used to do this all the time back when i was single and it only made me feel worse about current affairs. i love nate, but this apartment is driving me crazy!