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in other news - my nana died today. i think i felt her die. i got home from work at 4:40 and nate was getting undressed to take a shower. i lay on the spare bed and we were chatting, suddenly i had this really weird feeling like i was missing something. 15 minutes later, i checked my phone and both my mom and sister had just called, and my mom had texted me saying "please call me right now" and i knew that was what it was. she's been dying since february, when we all went down to florida to say goodbye, thinking she would die within days. then she went into hospice care and held on for another two months. the nurses at the hospice were saying they'd never seen someone hold on like that - i guess she was pretty agitated and it was quite obvious that she was holding on for some reason, something was unsettled. not sure if it got settled, but she finally let go. it's been two months of agony, knowing her quality of life is zero and she was just slowly dying. it sucked. and now it's here, and i don't really feel anything. i was prepared for it, i cried when i found out, but now i feel like i should be sadder. it will hit me at her funeral, when my whole family is there, and the emotions are running so high.
i hate this.
in other news - my nana died today. i think i felt her die. i got home from work at 4:40 and nate was getting undressed to take a shower. i lay on the spare bed and we were chatting, suddenly i had this really weird feeling like i was missing something. 15 minutes later, i checked my phone and both my mom and sister had just called, and my mom had texted me saying "please call me right now" and i knew that was what it was. she's been dying since february, when we all went down to florida to say goodbye, thinking she would die within days. then she went into hospice care and held on for another two months. the nurses at the hospice were saying they'd never seen someone hold on like that - i guess she was pretty agitated and it was quite obvious that she was holding on for some reason, something was unsettled. not sure if it got settled, but she finally let go. it's been two months of agony, knowing her quality of life is zero and she was just slowly dying. it sucked. and now it's here, and i don't really feel anything. i was prepared for it, i cried when i found out, but now i feel like i should be sadder. it will hit me at her funeral, when my whole family is there, and the emotions are running so high.
i hate this.
:hugs:
i'm actually not sure where in the white mountains we'll be. we have some friends that have a timeshare ( i think it is?) and a camp/cottage type of dealio over there. i'm really anxious to go. i LOVE new hampshire, it's gorgeous. and i love OOB! that's where i went every summer with my parents so it's always special when i'm able to go back.