sita

Sometimes you're nothing but meat, girl

~Tori Amos

I've been getting an itch the past week. I need to move. Every so often I feel the need to do a complete upheave in the way I'm living. Things have been too nice. I'm too comfy. This probably comes from moving around constantly for the past 10 years. I don't understand stability in any sense. Things are too nice. It's too good to be true. It's gonna blow. I may as well initiate it so that I can say I'm in control. Kinda like Nate Adams... poppin' off a heart attack at 50 feet. The bike is basically in a controlled freefall with him hanging on- or not. Maybe that's why I like FMX so much. Maybe my entire life is just one long controlled freefall. Maybe I'm just hanging on until I find the courage to just let go. Tyler Durden says it best: "Just let go!"

::sigh::

But it's not like I have a problem hitting bottom. I've damn near crash through the bottom of bottom. And just when I think I've crawled my way back....

I'd rather douse my entire existence in gasoline and strike a match, then duck and run, than to stand there and watch it crumble to bits around me.

I've done it before. It's what I always do.

And I've got my little bundle of joy climbing and swinging on me like an insane little monkey. He's an absolute joy! Some of my best friends have been cats. He follows me everywhere. Always too steps behind me. I feel horrible leaving him to go to work and I sit and pet him and apologize over and over before I leave in the mornings. ("Baby, I'm so sorry I have to leave! I *promise* we'll play just as soon as I get home!")

I suppose the first step is to get a passport. I see no reason why I can't take weekend trips to Paris, Montreal, London, Amsterdam, Barcelona....

I've got an itch real bad.