sissy

goodness... ... i feel a bit overwhelmed with the things i've let myself do... no regrets... just emotions that have come along with stuff i've done largely out of a type of desperation... tho i have come to realize desperation is not a flattering state ... you generally end up looking foolish... or at least feeling that way... ... i prefer to be in control, or at least to feel i have a hand on the steering wheel... i don't much like feeling wreckless... out of control... knowing i'll have no one but me to blame if something should go wrong, hehe... how frightening... i can only take so much before i'm utterly exhausted...