sissy

had my first creative writing class today... same teacher i had and really liked 3 years ago... he remembered me... he's just stabilized after a 2 year fight with a malignant brain tumor... that will make him the second teacher i've had who i loved and who also had a brain tumor... he seems to be doing okay right now... scarey though...

i have to work graveyard tonight, so i'm getting as much sleep as is humanly possible... it's not easy to stay alert until 7:30am, sometimes later... may giive me a chance to start my creative writing homework though ... hehe...

i feel right now like i'm a totally different person than i ever have been before in my life... school intimidates me, and i realize now that it always did... there's no huge difference between the way i behaved last night and the way i have behaved in classes my whole life... i'm afraid of people... i have a very closed posture (crossed legs, crossed arms, bad posture) because i'm trying to not be seen... to turn inside out... it makes me feel safe...

i didn't realize it wouldn't be easy to slip right back into it... but i'm up for the challenge... i keep telling myself maybe all i need to be a productive writer is deadlines... lets hope this works... cross yer fingers for me...