sirravennekros

Ah updates and stuff.
Where to begin?
Well... I turn now to love. Particularly the hate of love. Why hate love? What has love done to you? Done to me? Why love is not to blame, it is not because of love that I ruined my life. Nor is it because of love that I can't let go of the past. It's not because of love that I cannot have a stable relationship. Nor is it love's fault that I lie awake at night empty inside. Love isn't to blame for the demons behind my eyes. Love is not the perp who drives me farther and farther from sanity.
In truth it is the absence of love that does these things to me.
And because it is absent, so I hate it.
When a man puts his arm around a woman, sharing no words but the comfort of silence together. When a woman gasps his name against his lips in the warm darkness. When a man laughs for joy at a joke she says. Or when a woman smiles a special smile for only him to see. When he doesn't cheat on her. When she looks in her eyes and they kiss. When he holds his hand. When they whisper those tender words together in the dark.
That's when I hate love. When I see the happiness in others' eyes.
And for that I should be damned for my selfishness.