No one need read or comment on this post, but I need a place to vent this.
The past three days have been a mental hurricane for me
I forgot to take my meds a few days ago and then forgot to take them again yesterday morning. I've been spontaneously combustible, nearly had a heart attack when a I saw a few certain words that my partner messaged to a girl I didn't know, and then another heart attack when I woke up at three in the morning and he wasn't in bed next to me, or anywhere to be seen in the house for that matter. It was all innocent, he went out for a cigarette but I didn't notice he'd left. I have turbulent and fleeting thoughts that are all negative and destructive, and my perception is clouded. I can't shake the horrible feeling of worry, angst and sadness.
It doesn't matter what encouraging words my partner says, it's not making me feel better. Retail therapy hasn't worked. My pets always help me feel better but when I went to give Bubble a pat she bit me. I'm now sitting at a cafe waiting for my partner to be finished with whatever it is that he is doing so we can go and get some chocolate for me to gorge on and then go home and watch a movie. I hope I feel better tomorrow. I have to go to work, but I'm so tired. I've barely been awake six hours yet I feel like crawling into bed and dozing off. At least when I'm asleep I'm detached from these emotions. It's my brief serenity.
Well, that's todays post, I hope my next post is a little bit cherpier. Sorry I sound like a sad sack.
The past three days have been a mental hurricane for me
I forgot to take my meds a few days ago and then forgot to take them again yesterday morning. I've been spontaneously combustible, nearly had a heart attack when a I saw a few certain words that my partner messaged to a girl I didn't know, and then another heart attack when I woke up at three in the morning and he wasn't in bed next to me, or anywhere to be seen in the house for that matter. It was all innocent, he went out for a cigarette but I didn't notice he'd left. I have turbulent and fleeting thoughts that are all negative and destructive, and my perception is clouded. I can't shake the horrible feeling of worry, angst and sadness.
It doesn't matter what encouraging words my partner says, it's not making me feel better. Retail therapy hasn't worked. My pets always help me feel better but when I went to give Bubble a pat she bit me. I'm now sitting at a cafe waiting for my partner to be finished with whatever it is that he is doing so we can go and get some chocolate for me to gorge on and then go home and watch a movie. I hope I feel better tomorrow. I have to go to work, but I'm so tired. I've barely been awake six hours yet I feel like crawling into bed and dozing off. At least when I'm asleep I'm detached from these emotions. It's my brief serenity.
Well, that's todays post, I hope my next post is a little bit cherpier. Sorry I sound like a sad sack.
trublade73:
Hope things will look up for ya. 