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siphoned

Southern California

Member Since 2004

Followers 0 Following 8

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Friday Jan 07, 2005

Jan 7, 2005
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Circle of life, golden rule, whatever. It all comes back to you. My mother is sick and me or grandma have to talk to her doctors almost everyday now. They say she needs to go away. They say she is a danger to herself and others. The person that made me is clinically insane. *sigh* Well that makes me feel a little strange. A committee at the care center will decide where she will go. Maybe they'll send her to Florida and let her walk on the beach sometimes. She always liked the beach back in California. She wants to live with me. Wants me to fight the courts to become her guardian. Why turn to me? She can't even remember my name half the time. Why would she turn to me, of all people?

I OWE HER!? O'please, I owe nothing.

She wants me to remember the christmas days we shared when I was a toddler. Well thats great. I remember alot of things 'mommy'. I remember the night I came home late to find you passed out in the living room. 4 or 5 strangers having an orgy around you and the others passed out. I remember how the only one that noticed me was the guy snorting your cocaine on our coffee table. How I had to step over your junkie friends to get down the hallway. I was so tired and wanted to get some sleep. I remember the 4 people in my room. How they were taking and breaking my stuff. I remember very well how they grabbed me and hurt me when I told them to get out. I only got a few good shots in before they had me on the ground. One guy on each of my arms as the third hit me over and over again. I'm sure my eyes were open but I couldn't see anything. All I could hear was the laughter of the woman standing on my bed, cheering on the fight. Beaten and mugged in my own room by your so called friends. Stabbed in my side with my own f*ckin knife! Bleeding on my own damn floor. I remember rolling over in the pool of blood after they let go. Stuck in a panic to find the wounds as if I could control the bleeding even if I found where it was coming from. I remember standing up some 7 or 8 times only to be knocked back down if I made it to my feet.

Hey mom, maybe if you had raised me smarter, I wouldn't have backhanded one of them when I finally got to my feet. Maybe I would have been smart enough to run after the first beating. Hell, if there is anything I should have learned from you its how to run when the going gets rough.

And you actually have the nerve to wonder WHY I was in a gang. Those scally cap tommies were the only ones who could clean out the junkies when I wanted to TAKE A F*CKIN NAP!! You morn for your junkie friends more than your own son. You should have heard them cry when we came back that night. Lets see you get that junkie blood out of your carpet now.

You wonder why I left home? I wonder why you moved away after I left. I'm glad you found me and brought me to Ohio, cause this is where I sign your life away. Enjoy the rubber room, b*tch!

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