sionnach

So, I wrote this in my other blog, and I wanted to share it with you guys. My few yet ever-faithful followers.

It's kind of part of my "coming to terms" thing I've been doing lately. Lots of self-exploring going on here. It's odd. Very uncomfortable at times, but it's been a major relief too. So here's some of it.


Hello. My name is Ayla. I'm your typical Pisces. Moody, hypochondriac, sensitive, empathetic, sensual, sexually all over the place, etc. I'm also your typical redhead. Feisty (not short-tempered), vivacious, more than a little nutty, etc. Elementally speaking, I'm all things Water and Fire. Which, of course, leads to more than a few "WTF" moments.

I have days where I have all the patience and kindness in the world; and then I have some where I'm completely cunt-tastic. I have days where I don't care what anyone says or thinks about me; and then there are some where a stranger looking at me wrong can have me in tears. I try to do the typical mother, nurture, heal thing to those I care about; but can just as quickly turn around and whoop the ever loving hell out of them or anyone who messes with them.

I am a walking dichotomy. I'm everything that is a woman, but act and think more like a man (traditionally thinking). I try to put the past behind me, but oftentimes find myself dwelling in it, even when I least want to. There are days I just want to scream my lungs out at how unfair things are and how pissed off I am at how things have turned out.

But you know the really funny part about all this? ... It's me. That's it. I'm sick of apologizing for who I am. If you can't accept me for who I am, that's on you. I'm done trying to be someone I'm not. My personality is as ever-changing and all -encompassing as ... my taste in music. I am Classical, and Swing, and Rock, and Hip-hop and just a little bit of everything! I am who I am, and every day I learn to love that more.

I have some truly amazing friends, and I'm really beginning to realize how lucky I am to have them. My son, Boogie, is all that I could ask for when it comes to being wonderful. He lights up every day. All of them have helped through so much and have provided more laughter and happiness than anyone else ever did.

So... I guess what all this goes to say is that I am on the journey to find my Ice Cream Truck. Stick around, if you dare, and let's see where this goes. Shall we?