sinemetu

i lov my dogs since i picked them up yesterday they have been amazing. i dont know if its because they missed me or i missed them more. after our car ride home while my pug sat behind me in the driver seat; they ran around for a while before passing out for naps on my bed together. this never happens. the terrier always finds something to get into and can never just relax. tonight after our walk they have been wrestling on my bed together and taking breaks to sit and stare at me. i missed them and my apartment felt so quiet and empty with out them. i was scared. the morning of my trip when i took a shower at 4 am before i left i got out of the shower because i swore i was hearing things. they keep me sane and i love them, since ive been back ive just been working lot trying to keep busy and not think too much. its super hard. i have off all next weekend and was thinking of booking a trip somewhere. my friend in cali will be in chicago and my friend who i never get to see will be in new orleans for a bachloer party. looks like im planning a staycation. i ended up off from work bc i was supposed to go to the beach for a week with the ex. obviously thats not happening. ive been beating my self up and not taking care of myself. my goal tomorrow, replace one meal with a salad. baby steps to get back to where i want to be. im also debating shaving half my head still. im scared and dont want to do something drastic and pull a britney spears out of emotion. baby steps right. what about bob style.